She
by StillOnCloud9
Summary: Pansy Parkinson has but one fault, it being that she cares too much for a boy who is oblivious.. A continuation of "She" by cinderella200 A tale that'll peel back the many layers of pain belonging to a girl who truly knows the meaning of unrequited love
1. Prolouge

_She-_ An amazing one-shot from cinderella200 that I have decided to add too. This first chapter is all hers though. Drop her a review if you like it!

**She.**

_**You can observe a lot just by watching. - Yogi Berra.**_

When Dumbledore announces that the Head Boy and Head Girl may each pick an assistant from amongst the Senior Prefects, you're delighted. Of course, the Mudblood chooses the blood traitor Weasel, but that's not important.

What's important is that Draco chooses you.

You can hardly believe your luck. But you disguise it. You don't simper. You've grown out of that. Instead, you return his soft smirk, and incline your head to him slightly in acknowledgement.

It doesn't matter how ecstatic you are that you will be able to spend even more time alone with him.

_**What matters is dignity.**_

The Head's study is wonderful. It suits him perfectly; the grandeur fits him like a glove. He was born to sit in oak furnished drawing rooms with floating chandeliers and velvet covered couches, waited on hand and foot by scurrying house elves.

_She_ sits there, spoiling the room, like an ugly immovable ornament. Her wild hair is just visible over the top of the back of the armchair, and she never says a word to you when you visit.

She's a rude little bitch.

Draco tells you about her and the Weasel breaking up, and how awkward it will now be for them working together as Head Girl and assistant. You laugh together, and you can hardly bear how beautiful he looks when he laughs. When he falls against you for support, chuckling at the Mudblood's misfortune, the contact makes you forget to breathe, let alone laugh.

_**You don't wonder why he is so pleased they have broken up.**_

At the end of November, it is Goyle's birthday, and he smuggles a crate of fire whisky into the common room.

The evening progresses as it should, Draco takes your hand and leads you out into the corridor.

You stop behind an old suit of amour, and he kisses you roughly, tasting of Firewhisky and rum.

His hand is in your hair, and his lean frame is against yours. You can feel the cold stone wall through the thin fabric of your shirt, and his other hand is forcing its way under the hem of your shirt.

His lips drag their way down your jaw and to the base of your throat, then back up again. He is muttering furiously as he kisses you, something he has never done before, and you desperately strain to hear what he is saying, but the feel of his hands makes it impossible to comprehend anything else.

He's been rough with you before, being Draco he doesn't often display any tenderness, but when he lifts you up, hoists your skirt past your thighs, and rips your tights, you have to bite down on his shoulder to stop yourself crying out because it isn't painful in the _right way._

He's rough, yes, but before its been a primal, animal type lust driving it.

This time, he seems genuinely angry.

When you return to the common room, no one says a word. It's the norm, and nobody thinks anything of it. A year ago, the fact that people assume you are "Draco's girl" would have made you smile until your face cracked.

_**You think he might have been muttering something about Mudbloods.**_

You notice _something_ at the next prefect meeting.

"Right," says Granger. "First up, is everybody happy with the patrol rota? We've tried to make sure that everyone's paired with someone from their own house every other week, and the other week you'll patrol with someone from a different house."

A mixture of groans, contemptuous snorts, raised eyebrows and nervous glances welcome this statement. You roll your eyes. If you have to walk about with a Gryffindor you'll kill yourself.

_She _rolls her eyes at the reaction and glances at Draco, who is lolling back in his chair on two legs, silvery hair falling over his eyes, all elegance and disdain. He returns her glance with a sneer, and mouths "told you." at her. She looks irritable, and raises her voice above everyone.

"Ok, onto something a bit more interesting. We need to discuss the organization of the Yule Ball."

Dumbledore, the old fool, is trying to encourage inter-house relations by holding another ball. You can tell it's utterly futile, but you like dances, so grudgingly begin to pay attention to the bothersome Mudblood.

"Basically, we need some of you to help with decorations, some to help with the refreshments, and of course, a few at the door to make sure none of the younger years try and sneak in."

"And someone to make sure the punch is spiked."

A few titters greet the drawl, but that's not unusual. What is unusual, is how Granger bites her lip, as though trying not to _laugh _and then catches his eye for a split second, without a shred of annoyance in her features.

_**It must have been a trick of the light, there's no way he would wink at her.**_

In the study a week later, you ask Draco whether he is looking forward to the dance.

He shrugs his shoulders.

"It's all the same isn't it? Always the same thing. Nothing to look forward to really."

You nod slowly, although you don't understand at all. You ask him if he's going down to dinner. He says he doesn't think he's going to bother.

"Malfoy, you really should eat something, you didn't have lunch either did you?"

The Mudblood is giving him a domineering look, and you wait for his snappish retort, telling her to leave him alone.

He goes down to dinner with you.

_**You tell yourself it's because he wanted to get away from the Mudblood.**_

In Potions, the Mudblood is unusually clumsy and drops a vial of something on the ground.

It smashes, spraying a bluish liquid across the stone floor, and Snape rounds on her, his face twisted into a condescending sneer.

But before he can do his damage, and before you can laugh, Draco waves his wand lazily at the mess and it vanishes.

Potter and Weasley look utterly lost for words, they merely watch dumbfounded as Draco wordlessly hands her another vial of the liquid from his bag, which she takes, looking slightly bemused.

Snape loses his sneer as quickly as it appeared, and replaces it with a cold, sallow stare.

"Five points from Gryffindor Miss Granger, for wasting valuable ingredients."

You doubt she even hears the Professor; she is too busy gawping at Draco, before mouthing "thank you" at him. He smirks and replies "clumsy bint."

_**There is no malice in his voice.**_

At dinner that night, Theo Nott dares to ask what no one else will.

"What's this I hear about you helping out the Mudblood in Potions then?"

You don't think you've ever heard such a loud silence.

Every Slytherin in your year (and most of the others) fix their eyes on Draco, watching his reaction.

He lifts up his goblet, and takes a sip, languidly assessing everyone around the table before lowering it.

"She dropped some Essence of Urle and made a mess. I cleaned it up and gave her a new bottle. What's there to tell?"

Theo raises his eyebrows, and Draco matches his look, icy grey against cloudy blue, before saying in a loud, clear, carrying voice.

"I don't appreciate Snape wasting time in NEWT classes, even if it is to torture the do-gooders. That alright Nott?"

His voice answers the question clearer than Nott could ever manage. Of course it's alright, no one with half a brain cell argues with Draco when he looks like that.

_**Sometimes, you wish someone would.**_

Daphne Greengrass sits on her bed, idly curling a blonde lock round her wand.

"You know what you're wearing to the dance yet Pansy?"

You show her your dress robes, and she voices her approval, before frowning slightly.

"But I thought Draco's wearing dark blue? You won't match?"

You shrug, and turn back to hang up your robes, but not before you catch a glimpse of the sickeningly knowing look across Daphne's refined features.

_**You never liked Daphne.**_

A week later, when you patrol the corridor with Zabini, he asks you who you are going to the dance with. You shrug and say you're not even sure you can be arsed to go. Even with your back to him, you can feel his surprised look boring through you.

"Draco _will_ be disappointed."

You don't say a word, instead stopping to poke your head into a classroom to check for students, before closing the door. As you walk back to the dormitory, you finally look at Zabini, and despite your so- called Slytherin cunning, you fail to hide your worry.

"He hasn't asked you yet then?"

You snap something about making assumptions, and Zabini laughs lazily as he follows you into the common room, a noise that makes your blood boil.

You wonder why, after nearly seven years of attending dances together, he has forgotten to ask you to this one.

_**You don't sleep that night.**_

You go up to the Head's study to ask him a question about the patrol rota, because it seems you've been double booked at the same time as the Ravenclaw girl. You don't bother to knock, you never bother, you don't have to.

He's lying on the velvet couch, head propped up by a cushion at one end. She's sitting at the other end of the couch, with a book on her lap.

It takes you a second to realize that, underneath the book, he's resting his feet on her lap as well.

"When are you going to be done with that bloody book, Granger, I need to do my essay."

"I've got one chapter left, idiot, just shush."

"Such a slow reader."

"Such a narcissistic prat."

He laughs, and leans his head back into the cushion lazily, shaking his hair out of his eyes.

"Just hurry up, Granger."

You slip out of the study, praying you won't be noticed. You don't stop until you reach the second floor corridor, and then you lean against the wall, and breathe until the tears retreat back.

_**It doesn't mean anything.**_

Two nights before the ball, you and Zabini are in the library finishing off your Transfiguration essays when Theo Nott strolls in, sits at your table, and begins chatting to Zabini about various conquests.

You catch various parts of their conversation as you work, mainly that Daphne Greengrass is currently "looking too plastic", Millicent Bulstrode has a "fine pair of tits", Hannah Abbott is "far too attractive to be a Hufflepuff", and if Ginny Weasley wasn't a Gryffindor blood traitor she'd "get it several times."

You roll your eyes as you work, and Theo laughs humorlessly at your unimpressed expression.

"Mind you, the littlest Weasley's clearly got _nothing_ on Parkinson here."

Zabini snickers before leaning back in his chair and nodding. "Yeah, especially if last night's anything to go by."

You don't want to look up, you wish you were strong enough to ignore the bait, but you've never been able to hold you tongue. You tell them, in as unconcerned a voice as possible, that you don't have the faintest idea what they're talking about.

They both laugh even harder.

"Shut up Pansy, you know damn well what we mean." says Theo. "Poor Malfoy looked completely exhausted last night when he came in."

"And the scratches on his back." Adds Zabini, making a soft hissing noise through his teeth. "Looked bloody painful."

"Quite the wildcat aren't we?"

You look up at both of them now, searching their smug expressions for a sign they're taking the piss, but they clearly aren't. They mean every word, and worse still, they're taking it for granted that it was you that Draco was with last night.

You throw them a disdainful look before gathering your things, and exiting the library, leaving the two boys laughing at their own cleverness.

You've always been careful not to scratch Draco, and you feel a detached sort of curiosity about the girl who doesn't seem to care about marring his porcelain skin.

_**It can't…it simply can't be her.**_

You dance a couple of dances with Theo, his hands always uncomfortably low, his eyes dancing with a smugness that for the first time, you aren't in Draco's possession, and you hate it.

After a couple of drinks with the girls, you dance with Blaise, always the perfect gentleman as usual, and looking completely disinterested in the whole event as his spins you in his arms.

When you go back to your table, you sit next to Millicent heavily, wondering how many boys you will have to dance with, and how much punch you will have to drink before you stop thinking about pale skin and icy eyes, and she speaks up.

"How come you didn't come with Draco?"

You like Millicent. You honestly do. She's sharp, in the sense she knows a hell of a lot more than she lets on. She notices things, she's wonderfully perceptive, rather like Zabini, but unlike Zabini, she doesn't use what she knows to get her own way. She keeps quiet.

But when it comes to tackling people, she has an admirable bluntness, and she's easy to talk to, with her lack of airs.

You shrug, and tell her that he didn't ask you.

"How come? That's fucking weird, have you had a row or something?"

You shake your head.

"If you ask me he's gone a bit funny. I swear he spends more time in that Head's study then he does in the common room. What the hell's that Granger bint got that we haven't?"

_**In short, Millicent says what everyone else is thinking.**_

"Pansy? After party in the common room yeah? This is shit."

You vaguely hear Daphne's voice, and nod, telling her you'll be on your way.

You've had entirely too much to drink, god only knows what Goyle spiked the punch with.

You notice Draco is not with the group of Slytherins that have just left, and you can't see him in the hall.

He must be in the Head's study.

In a drunken stupor you make your way up there, he should _know_ about the after party, someone should _tell_ him, he's a _Slytherin_ for god's sake, he should _be_ there.

You reach the door and go in, but it's empty. You decide to go and sit in the Mudblood's armchair by the fire and wait for him. Only when you sit down do you realize how much taller than you she must be, for her hair to be visible over the top. The chair completely swallows you.

Minutes pass by, maybe hours, you're not sure, but eventually, you hear the door click open, and familiar voices drift in. Before you stand up, you hear something that makes you freeze in the seat.

"Draco, why are we here?"

"I'm dragging you out of that complete fiasco so I can have my wicked way with you, _idiot_."

"We have to go back, it's our responsibility to be there!"

"Fuck it, let's just stay here."

You think you can hear kissing, you think you can, you're not sure, you can't be sure.

"Draco-"

"Shush woman, they won't miss us now, everyone's far too hammered."

"Yes, and whose faults that?"

He laughs, that gorgeous laugh, that laugh you could never resist, and this time is no exception, you turn in your chair to look at him.

_**You'll always regret going into that study.**_


	2. Chapter 1

**This is the revised chapter one where I've inserted breaks in the story. I apologize for letting those parts run together, I'm still tinkering around with all the editing/uploading/revising factors on fanfiction. This is my first story and I'm not used to all of it yet. Besides that I've fixed some of the grammer mistakes that I hadn't caught the 3rd and 4th time of re-reading this, I'm not perfect and niether is spellcheck for that matter.**

In a dense forest out in Albania, a lone figure walked through the trees, black scarf wrapped tightly around her neck, her slim figure wrapped in a long tan coat. Her hair cut short, whips around in the harsh cold wind. She moves at a fast, clipped pace, occasionally looking over her shoulder. Once she's clear of the trees she turns and reaches into the depths of her many layers to pull out a wand, then disappears into thin air with a pop.

Pansy Parkinson, age 24 lands outside the gates of Number 12 Grimmauld place. Taking a deep breath, she walks into the not so cozy home of the late Sirius Black, headquarters of The Order of the Phoenix, of which she's been a member of since 8 months after leaving Hogwarts.

She'd never admit it, but after being gone from there for 3 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days, she's missed this place. Walking in she was met with the quiet buzz of conversation from around the house and the sounds of footsteps on the stairs as one, two, three, four heads came into view. Those four heads turned towards her and one by one, they cast their eyes to the floor and slowed their steps. They were disappointed; it didn't take a genius to see that. After working together for over 4 years Pansy was still far from the Golden Trio's favorite person. Of course, Ginny Weasley hadn't taken to liking her either, seeing the company she kept.

"Who else hasn't come back yet?" she asked. They were obviously expecting someone else.

"Tonks, Fred and Draco." She nodded at the short answer from the younger red-head and without another glance at them she turned and took the stairs two at a time to get to the small room she occupied while here. The room hadn't been touched; this much she could tell as soon as she walked in. It was also as spotless as ever, thanks to Potter's loyal house-elf Dobby, but empty and devoid of any sign that someone actually lived here.

Pansy shed her tan coat; it was made from the finest wool one could buy with money and it one of the last possessions she had taken before she left her family, her name, and her fortune. To join in a bloody war she hadn't cared about. To fight for the side her old self called the bad guys. The decision to join in would surely be the death of her.

Unwinding the scarf around her and settling on her bed in a green long sleeve and black jeans Pansy shivered due to the chill in the room, but she made no move to warm herself up. She settled her head back, eyes closed and concentrated on taking deep breaths. After a while she was about to make a move to unpack the bags that were shrunken to fit in her coat pockets but a light knock on her door made her heart jump a bit and it changed her plans. _Could it be?_

The dark eyes of Blaise Zabini looked her from head to toe as soon as she opened the wooden door separating them. They raked her body once more, searchingly, before they settled back on her face.

"You're still in one piece, huh?" his tone was light, joking in a way that meant he cared.

A smile pulled at her lips and she reached out to pull him into her room. As soon as the door clicked close Blaise pulled her into a tight embrace. Mind you, it was only sisterly. Over the past 6 years he had felt more for her, but things were complicated then and the both of them hadn't moved into any kind of relationship. Pansy doubted she could, then or now.

"I really was worried. That entire time and only one owl." He exhaled loudly, and pulled away to look her in the eye. He wasn't going to give her any more crap, he was just glad she was back. "By the way, Happy late birthday, you're finally catching up with the rest of us, huh?"

"Thanks." Pansy managed a smile for him before her eyes narrowed, "Now, where's my gift Zabini? It had better be something nice, Merlin knows you're still loaded, unlike some of us here."

"Still bitchy, cold, and ferocious as ever. I shouldn't have expected any change."

"Damn right" she retorted. "As if I could be me without my cold, bitchy heart."

He laughed at that, his white teeth flashing against his dark skin. The two of them settled onto the bed and exchanged some banal chit-chat before they lapsed into a comfortable silence. Before long the old grandfather clock downstairs chimed 6. Time for supper, with the whole crowd, always an activity Blaise and Pansy looked forward to greatly…not.

Being ex-Slytherins and all made dinner a tense event, sometimes even the thought of warm, delectable food wasn't enough to lure the pair of them down, but today wasn't one of those nights that they could wait and sneak into the kitchens later. Today was the day most everyone was due back from missions and aside from the necessary report meeting afterwards; it was always nice for everyone's nerves to have all the seats at the two long dinner tables downstairs filled with all the members. An empty seat meant…well, it meant that person would no longer be joining them for meals.

The warm dining room was alive with chatter, the warmth spilling over the edges. Bright candles gave off a night touch and their sweet aroma wafted through the room, adding to the magic of the moment. Pansy was in awe of it, but that was it. She felt detached, like an intruder, and was glad for Blaise's form behind her, reminding her that at least one person in here was on her side.

The pair of them shuffled into a dimly lit corner and took their seats. Everyone else piled in to the center of the tables, vying for the best seat, the one where they could see and talk to everyone. It was only logical that Pansy avoided that seat in the middle and Blaise never cared much about the welfare of the other members, he did his work, was a valuable asset and liked to stick with his current company. Over the years he'd really started adapting to the role of Pansy's older sibling. Caring and supportive in his distant manner, replacing a small part of all the fawning she had received while growing up.

As everyone was seated, warm, tender steaks came floating around the table, the tempting smell was making Pansy feel a twinge of regret for not sitting at the middle, where the food platters started out. The platter was just 6 places away from her when she felt a small draft come in from the back door, the one she was about 3 yards.

The back door had been flung wide open, the gusts from outside making it clatter as it swung on its hinges. A tall, lean figure stepped in, his pale blond hair tousled from the wind. His grey eyes scanned the room, and when they landed on her, she felt her heart catch, she was a second away doing something stupid. The sight of him after 3 whole months on her own, with no news of the few she still cared about, made seeing him simply stand there seem like a true homecoming.

The napkin in her lap was already crumpled in her hand by the time she realized she _had _to go see and feel him to make sure he really was there. As she made ready to stand, to do what, embrace him? Who knew, something along those lines, but then there was a blur of movement from across her. Pansy fell back into her chair, hands clenched, and eyes averted from the reunited couple. _She _had beaten her to it. Just like _she_ had beat her to _him._

Hermione Granger had launched herself in to her boyfriend of 6 year's arms, unknowingly driving another dagger into the heart of an innocent girl whose only fault was loving a certain boy too much.

* * *

The steak that Pansy had been looking forward to sat untouched and cold on her plate. She had tried to leave after witnessing the heart-wrenching greeting Granger had given to Draco, but Blaise had reached out to firmly tug her back down. Though he couldn't, no matter how much he tried, make her eat. The large helpings on her plate stuck out like a sore thumb at the table. Many people glanced her way with worried eyes (which went completely unnoticed by Pansy), but no one voiced their thoughts, afraid of the young woman.

Pansy wasn't tall or physically intimidating. She stood at her meek 5' 6.5", which wasn't all that short, but compared to Hermione Grangers 5' 9" and Ginny Weasley's 5' 8", she didn't have the command of the room when she walked in. She had once been a chunky girl, with a round face that many said resemble a pug but over the years she lost that chub and her face thinned out, especially in the past 3 years.

Pansy was also no natural beauty, she wasn't hideous, but she didn't have the traditional good looks. She passed for cute though. Her dark hair had once been long but with her new recent life, a short crop just above her shoulders made things easier. She had a very deep shade of blue for eye-color, but not many people looked at her long enough to make out their depth. So what was it about Pansy Parkinson that made her so scary?

It was the fact that she was pretty much lifeless. No one looked at her long because her aura was dark and moody. She rarely smiled and her tone was always so cold and monotonous. Not one person in the Order of the Phoenix could see that beneath that dead mask was a young woman that had been through enough to kill a person. It's no wonder that she appeared dead. Technically, or rather emotionally, she was.

There was also the fact that her biting comments coupled with her monotonous tone were usually blunt, to the point, and bordering on insulting. Many doubted her ability for kindness but maybe it was because no one offered it to her in the first place.

After the food had been waved away by Molly Weasley everyone stood up to make their way into the sitting room next door. It had been magicked to fit everyone at once. Pansy went to her room to grab the file she had written up, including the details of her over 3 months mission and quickly washed her face and ran a brush through her hair before stepping out of her room.

"Pansy." His voice made her jump a little, she spun around quick to see him holding a file that looked similar to hers in his left hand, head tilted slightly to the right as her smiled coolly at her. "It's good seeing you."

She smirked coolly back at him, even though the sight of him sent her nerves racing, "You too, Malfoy." His surname was always what she called him. Draco had not slipped past her lips verbally after that night back in their 7th year, when Pansy had foolishly gone to the Head's common room to extend a Slytherin party invite to Draco. And it was only to find him kissing _her_ tenderly. She had spun around in the arm-chair by the fire and tried her best to be normal. She didn't look at either of them as she stood and extended the invitation to the floor.

He said he'd be there right away. That was her cue to leave and she took it gratefully. For the rest of her life, she'd always wonder if whether or not he noticed her absence at that party, or whether he even showed up at all. Because Pansy had spent that night in a girls bathroom stall, throwing up all she'd drunk earlier and crying till she could hardly see.

"How long have you been back?" Draco's tone was not his usual rough baritone. He reserved a more tender tone for Pansy and others that he cared about in his life. And it was because he felt grateful for Pansy's loyal ness. Back when she found out about his and Hermione's relationship, she took it well. Actually, she's never said anything about it, so he took her silence as acceptance of it. Pansy had always been a part of his life. She was his first friend, first girl-friend, the girl he shared his first kiss with, and the girl he lost his virginity too. But their relationship had never progressed to anything more than friends with benefits. He felt confident in saying he could speak for the both of them. Pansy had never shone any kind of romantic feelings for him and back when he was young this angered him because he had adored her then.

"I was back a few hours before you." And with that their conversation was at a stand still. Pansy had once been able to make talk with Draco over just about anything, but after losing him to another girl Pansy had ceased to be able to engage him in conversations. That was simply a bridge that had been burned.

They two of them stood there looking at each other until the silence turned sour and awkward, Pansy had just gotten the guts to open her mouth for another lame question when a sweet and soft voice called out Draco's name. He glanced at Pansy and flashed a quick, distracted smile before he turned without so much as another look to her, and went downstairs.

_It's nice to see things haven't changed, Draco. Not that I expected it. _Heaving a heavy sigh Pansy stood a bit straighter and brought up a blank white wall in her mind before descending the stairs to join the rest of the Order in the sitting room. She couldn't count on both hands, and probably both feet too, how many of the people below could read her mind and poke around in her head. This was the only way she knew how to block them out.

Once everyone had filed in and found a spot in the room, one by one, each member who had anything to report on their mission drew numbers and then took a seat to wait their turn all the while taking notes on anything else. The happy mood from dinner slowly but surely evaporated as the news of deaths and the dark side's activities were exposed to everyone, to remind them that things were far from being fun and fine.

While jotting down a quick note about a series of mysterious deaths in London Pansy's quill tip snapped because of the awkward slant she used when writing. She cursed under her breath and reached into her pockets for a spare one but came out with nothing. Before she could nudge Blaise to ask whether he has a spare or not, another quill dropped into her lap.

She tilted her head up to see Draco smiling softly at her, "Still write like that huh? I'd have thought you'd have grown out of it by now, I have."

A rare flush of color rose to her face and she playfully sneered at him before looking down to the pad of paper in her lap again. But her hand sat still and the thoughts she was going to write down were as far from her mind as possible.

Back when she and Draco were learning to write, at the age of 6, the tutor always criticized Draco on the way he slanted his quill, making his letters almost illegible. He always was on the verge of tears at the end of each lesson. Until one day the tutor found a new victim to pick on. Pansy's handwriting which was always clear and straight all of a sudden took on an awkward slant that no matter how hard the tutor tried to fix, couldn't.

Seeing her best friend and the boy she adored being made fun of by a stuck up old lady made Pansy angry. She had practiced for days to master that slant Draco had (however did he manage it?!) but eventually she taught herself to make her handwriting even worse than his and after class when he mocked the tutor to make her laugh and feel better, she decided the trade-off was worth it.

Pansy was never able to grow out of the awkward slant she made herself master, though her handwriting was legible now, the grip and slant of her quill always broke the tips of them, but then again, carrying around a spare quill wasn't difficult.

This memory gave her a warm thrill that eased the hurt she constantly carried and the slight change in her persona didn't go unnoticed by those who watched her present her report. School was never something she excelled in, but it was because she never applied herself. She did the bare necessity and that was good enough for her folks. After all, being a Pureblood and already having a line of suitors meant her future was already set. Having a career was out of the question, back then her life had been on the track that was headed towards "social-stay-at-home-mom".

The information she presented included a death-eater meeting scheduled for the next full moon at a small town in Albania, and a hidden cave that was often used in the dense forest on Albania's border. That and an extended list of the suspicious, more dangerous potion ingredients purchased at the Potion Place in an Albanian city with a smaller version of Diagon Alley.

Pansy was listing those potion ingredients when Blaise saw Potter bend towards Weasley and ask him a question. Being only a seat away enabled him to hear the whispered question.

"You'd think Malfoy himself was a cheer up charm by the way Parkinson is reacting to his coming back. You think that bloke is blind?"

Weasley tilted his head and looked back at Pansy, running his eyes up and down her until Blaise felt like he could no longer hold in his urge to poke the Weasel's eyes out with skewers. "She does seem a tad perkier. But then again, he glanced behind him to look at Draco and Blaise followed with his eyes, Malfoy has been permanently blinded by our Hermione, she's the kind that would block out any other girl."

Potter nodded and they turned back to scribbling down notes. Blaise felt his own heart ache at that statement. He looked back to Pansy and that ache turned to a throb that ran through his entire body. _That foolish girl. How many more buckets of tears is she going to waste on him?_ Pansy had never come to him directly and had never opened her mouth to talk about how she felt about Draco, but Merlin, it was written all over her. He'd tried to erase it, he'd really had, but Blaise had given up, he was now just interested in seeing her happy, and if that meant she needed to love Draco for that happiness, he shall not stand in the way.

By the time Pansy had weaved through the room back to her seat Draco already had the command of the room as he set his files out on the table. He cleared his throat once and then launched right into his report. Making eye-contact here and there and stating the fruits of his long mission. Pansy kept her eyes off him and hurried to write down all the facts that he was throwing out at them. Should she raise her eyes to look at him she would never be able to get a word down. The sight of him did that to her, that's why in the six long years that they've been out on missions, Pansy has never worked with Draco. They usually went out on missions in pairs of 2 or groups of 3 others, lone ones were rare, but they came up now and again.

Draco had never questioned why he and Pansy had never been paired or grouped together; he hadn't noticed that he had worked with everyone but her. But Pansy was very aware of this fact. She had been the one to request it with McGonagall, who oversaw the assignments, making up some excuse she could no longer recall to promise to not pair her and Draco together. He had more effect on her than a stunning spell did, a stunning spell she had a high chance of blocking, with Draco in her line of sight on a battlefield and she'd be a goner for sure. She gave a small sigh and tried to imagine the things Draco was saying was being recited by an old goblin, green and warty…_that damn goblin has the sexiest voice I've ever heard_…so much for that idea. She ducked her head even further and pressed her quill tighter as her hand flew across the page, writing anything and everything he said to keep her from looking up at him.

* * *

The neon green numbers of the enchanted digital clock on her night side table shone brightly at her. 1:36 a.m. You'd think mental and physical exhaustion would be enough to lull a person to sleep as soon as their head hit the pillow, but no. Not this case, not this person. Her head was pounding and her eyes were stinging and feeling strained from not being able to sleep. Pansy wrapped her comforter tightly around her shoulders as she sat up in bed to lean her head on the headboard.

She could feel a cold coming on, _damn it_ she thought, getting sick would not be the best thing right about now. A health potion before all the symptoms came and attacked her would probably be a smart thing to do, but she was already so cold. Getting out of the warm bed would be a challenge. She was tempted to wake Blaise, to get him to play nurse, but in the end Pansy just wrapped the blanket tighter around her slim body and shuffled out of her room.

The kitchen was lit with one fluorescent bulb, courtesy of Mr. Weasley, and completely empty. She ambled on over to the cabinet with all-ready brewed potions and hunted through the many miscellaneous bottles and their labels. Professor Snape was very specific with his naming of his potions and that made the labels a challenge to decipher. They were all words in Latin, long and foreign words that made Pansy's mind spin even more. _I really should have gotten Blaise._ Behind all the potions and off in the dark corner of the cabinet were about 5 boxes of pills. Muggle medicine, did they belong to Granger?

Pansy reached in and pulled out a box. _Nyquil._ What the hell was Nyquil? Flipping the box over, she read that they helped with headaches, sore throats, and congestion, up to 12 hours of relief. Sounded like she could do with two of these Nyquil things. There was more fine print but the light in the kitchen was limited and her head was already pounding from having to strain her eyes to read the necessities. She already had two of the weird capsules in her palm when the fact that these were Granger's muggle pills made her hand halt on their way to her mouth. Taking these would be almost like accepting help from _her,_ granted she would never know, unless she counted these pills on a daily basis, but still, something sour and unpleasant nagged at Pansy. That is until she sneezed and the action made her head explode in pain. Without much more debate she shoved the pills in and chased them with a gulp of water, and then ambled upstairs, back to her lonely, dark room.

* * *

A few rays of sunshine got in through the thick drapes that surrounded Pansy's eastern window and they danced shadows onto her pale face. Blaise had just finished an awkward breakfast meal, where his eyes never left the dining room's entrance, waiting to see a shock of black hair that belonged to Pansy Parkinson, who never showed up, not for any of the 47 minutes in which he endured alone.

He had marched up the stairs and had entered without so much as a knock and thanked Merlin that he hadn't opened it with enough force for it to slam. Because still tightly curled in her nest of blankets, fast asleep was the girl who he thought had pulled a ding-dong-ditch on him that morning.

He was glad to see her still asleep and moved closer to fix the gaps in her curtains; he knew she was a light sleeper, and especially sensitive to light. As he moved closer, he noticed something about the way she slept that he hadn't from his spot by the door. Her breathing was very shallow and seemed too frantic to be good. Just then a branch from outside her window moved just so it blocked the light streaming on her face and Blaise was able to see her clearly.

Pansy's black hair was plastered to her face, her usual paleness had a hint of green in it and it was now obvious that she wasn't enjoying her sleep. There was a slight wrinkle in her brow and her lips were dry, cracked, and dull. He reached out a hand to her forehead and pulled it back in surprise after a moment's contact with her skin. _She looked fine last night, this came on quick._ His mind quickly assembled a mental list for dealing with the flu and he turned on his heel, walking out of the door and in his haste left it ajar.

Harry Potter was heading to his room after breakfast to grab his broom for a good match of quidditch against the other males in the Order. It had been so long since they had enough players for a good game. He was nearly bowled over by Blaise Zabini on his way up to the second floor though; the black boy who was usually polite and chivalrous didn't even spare him a glance as he shoved past him, mumbling about juice, porridge, and breaking fevers. He went in and grabbed his broom from under his bed and was just walking back to the staircase when he heard low whimpers from a few yards down the hallway.

It sounded like someone in pain. Harry continued down the hall, keeping an eye out for something unusual. The weirdest part was that it sounded like it came from inside one of the rooms. As far as he knew all the rooms on the second floor were occupied, and everyone on this floor was very skilled and had long ago mastered the silencing charm. It was probably the most popular spell around here. So hearing any noise from any room was weird.

After walking past 4 doors Harry figured he must have imagined the noise when something very peculiar caught his attention. There was the door to….. Pansy Parkinson's room, left wide open. Harry approached it cautiously, wondering what on Earth he was going to find once he poked his head into her room. He'd never seen the inside of the mysterious girl's room. Especially one he'd never learned to like and had barely come to trust.

His mind was conjuring up images of silver and green snakes on the walls, with pink poodles on the ceiling along with unattractive blue, pink, and purple robes lying around in disarray. What he did see though threw him off his rocker. Pansy's room was unnaturally bare for a girl. He'd always thought that he'd never see a girl's room more organized and stuff-free than Hermione's room, but he'd just been proven wrong. Hermione had books and the odd girl item lying here and there. She had picture frames and small vases of flowers enchanted to never wilt, and little touches of her all around her simple abode.

But looking around Pansy's room Harry didn't see anything that he could peg as belonging to the girl herself. There was your normal dark wood dresser, a small desk, a long mirror by the closet, and a nightstand table. There was a normal looking chair; it was wrought metal by her desk and there was also a small stool over by the somewhat small but crammed bookshelf. Harry had been so taken back by the nothingness in her room that he failed to notice the suffering girl on the bed.

Harry was one of many that fell under the category of "having never really looked at Pansy Parkinson" but they say first impressions are the most important; it's a shame that the first time he really looked at her was when she was sweaty and pallid. But the sight of her like that struck a chord in him. _So she can get sick too. Even Parkinson is able to look vulnerable, down, and completely broken._ Harry reached the side of the fever ridden girl and like Blaise put a hand on her forehead, only to jerk it back a second later.

_This is why he almost bowled me over._ Harry couldn't help but feel a weird moment of sadness, and for a moment he wasn't him. He was watching the stories of everyone in this house, like one would on TV. He stood back and watched as Blaise rummaged through the cupboards down in the kitchen while a pot of porridge simmered on the stove. If he turned his head slightly he could see a group of people gathered outside, many with brooms in hand, just beyond the glass door, laughing and enjoying each other's company, oblivious to the boy who was worriedly and hurriedly trying to prepare something for his sick friend. Two people who were a part of them, who made up their team, who had contributed a lot over the past years, all alone in a time of need, fending for themselves. Sure, she was only sick with the flu, but as soon as Harry saw that thought run across his mind the imaginary screen he was watching changed.

The story he was watching flashed back to a winter ago, when Hermione, Harry, and Remus had gotten the flu. He saw how everyone ran around with cough syrups and bowls of soups; he saw the people he's grown so close to gladly swap places with the people who were tending to the three sick people, he included. He watched as worried words were exchanged. He saw everyone's concern etched on their faces but he didn't pay much mind to that. Instead he moved around the crowded downstairs until he found the two people he was wanted to see.

A winter ago he was touched that everyone came together to care for him, Hermione, and Remus. It was nice seeing they cared for their own so much and he'd thought at the time that they would have done this for anyone who had gotten sick. For the second time today, he was proven wrong. Harry had just stepped into the room that was hidden off to the side of the dining room entrance-way. It was actually somewhat nice to get away from the bustling people in the living room. As he looked around he recognized the room as the one the house elves did their work in. But during that time Harry, Hermione, and Remus had been sick, they weren't too focused on doing the laundry or the tidying around. They spent most of their times developing food remedies and hot soups to help the three sick ones get better.

The work room was empty except for two people. Their shadows were stretched out behind them as they worked. They didn't talk much, just exchanging a word here and there while they tackled the large pile of clothes in front of them. Zabini looked awkward folding pants and shirts and robe sets. He often cast a glance over at Parkinson to make sure he was doing it right. She caught his little glances and did her best to not show her amusement.

Blaise had been against going in here to fold laundry. But after catching Pansy's awkward glance around when they were both in the main room; he decided to accompany her into the house elf's work room. At first he thought they both just retreated in here to hide from all the bustling and worrying about in the other room, but after looking around and seeing the pile of unfolded clothes, Pansy had roped him into folding them with her.

"I still have no idea why in hell we're doing this." Blaise complained as he looked at a set of magenta robes in his hands.

"Well, it looks like no one else is going to get to it today; we have nothing better to do. And I wanted to see where my blue sweater had gotten to. It turns out it's just been neglected in here."

"Then grab your damn sweater and the rest of your clothes and let's go. We're doing house elf work!" Blaise threw down the clothes he had, frustrated.

"If you want to leave, leave. I'm not making you stay."

Harry saw Zabini shoot an annoyed look at the girl by his side before he bent to snatch up the robes he had thrown to the floor.

"Consider this is our way of helping out around her. Me and you can't just volunteer to waltz in the sick room to tend to those in there. We, honestly, don't care much for them. But with the way everyone is bustling around worried, it makes me…antsy to just sit around."

Pansy halted her movements and turned to look at the frustrated boy next to her. She continued to look at him until he turned his scowl to her.

"Then how in hell do you fold these damn things??" he hopelessly held up the magenta robes and his scowl turned a tad sour when he saw Pansy's face fight back a smile.

He dropped the stupid scraps of fabric back into the pile and turned to go when he felt a light grasp on his arm. Turning he say Pansy biting her lip to stop her smile and he was about to yank out of her hold when she let go and turned back to pick up the discarded magenta robe.

"Like this." And she proceeded to easily fold and crease the robes in her hands to form an organized pile of magenta fabric.

He reached into the pile for another set of robes as she did and then mimicked her actions till he arrived at the same end result she did. "I guess it's not that difficult.

Pansy let out a small giggle at that and even Blaise let a grin go. They lapsed back into silence and the scene fizzed around the edges until Harry was back in Pansy's bedroom.

He looked once more to the sick girl and decided then that the quidditch game he was going to take part in could wait. He set his broom on her desk and quickly retreated from the room. Closing the door gently on his way out as he made his way to the kitchen.

The pot of porridge was close to boiling over onto the stove when Harry walked in. He ran to it and lifted the pot of the burner, almost tripping over one of the chairs in the room in his rush. Blaise looked up from the potion book he'd been studying and stared blankly at the pot of porridge in Harry's hand before recognition dawned on him and propelled him forward to take the pot from Harry.

"Shit." The black boy took one look at the contents and cursed again. "Shit!"

Harry took it from him and went over to the kitchen trash, ignoring Blaise's curious stare and dumped the entire pot into the trash.

"Hey! What the hell Potter?" Blaise covered the few steps between them and put his face up to Harry's, "That wasn't for you, who do you think you are?"

Harry didn't back down from the dark boy's glare but simply side-stepped him and set the steaming pot with a layer of burnt porridge on the bottom in the sink. "If you think that she would've been able to stomach _that_ you're wrong."

Blaise blinked twice before he was able to think coherently again. His look was not what Harry though it would be. He was expecting surprise, maybe confusion, heck, even some gratitude, but what he was getting was a hostile look that rivaled +Voldemort's.

"Why the hell do you care? I can do of this myself. Go join your friends and let me care for mine. I don't need your help, neither does she." He pulled out his wand and aimed it at the pot in the sink and muttered a cleaning charm before levitating it into his open hand. With that said Blaise turned back to the counter and began to measure out another pot of porridge.

Harry unclenched his jaw and took a deep breath; he never knew that Zabini could be so…ass-like. Sorta like Ron when he got riled up. The two actually had a lot in similar, hotheaded, and not trusting of anyone outside of their comfort zone, they both had temper issues, and they both valued friendship above anything. It's really a shame they couldn't look past the hatred they'd already built up to see what was underneath all that.

Not that those were Harry's exact thoughts. His were more along the lines of _Stupid bastard, I'm offering him my help when I could be…ungrateful dick._

The boy who lived though was known for his persistence and patience and after composing himself he walked to around the counter to stand shoulder to shoulder with the dark boy.

"Look, I know you may not want my help, but I want to offer it. We need to be there for each other. And……I've never been there for you and … Park...Pansy before, I don't want things to stay that way" Harry's heartfelt confession was met with silence and he was starting to wonder if he even spoke out loud at all when the pot that Blaise had been filling with water was shoved into his chest.

"Set it onto the stove. I've gotta get this potion started." The water in the pot sloshed violently, some spilling over the edges onto Harry's blue shirt but he made no objections and bit back his somewhat rude remark and simply decided to let Zabini off the hook this one time.

Another 15 minutes tip toed by and the silence was soon filled with small bubbling noises from the pot on the stove, it simmered happily, unaware of the two somewhat tense young men standing in its presence. Harry was getting dizzy from watching the porridge stir itself in the pot and he was about to droop into a light sleep when the glass door in the other room slid open and the sounds of the other members laughing and joking joined the pot's bubbling noises. The noise snapped Harry out of his little stupor his elbow connected painfully with the stove's top. He jumped and let loose a few colorful words as parts of the conversation from outside drifted in.

"….like that one time Ginny threw her dirty laundry on the old taffy cat and it went streaking in, her panties on its head all 'round the living room with over 20 members of the family packed in there!" Ron's boisterous voice was heard above all the laughter and then Ginny's shriek of embarrassment followed, ending with a storm of footsteps that were fast approaching the kitchen.

Harry stepped out of the entranceway and watched as Ron came bumbling 'round the corner with Ginny hot on his heels, both their faces a light shade of pink. He took a steady stance and prepared himself for impact as Ron came barreling into him. He wrapped both arms around him and held him as his girlfriend caught up and began to beat her older brother. The three of them became a tangle of arms and legs and Harry somehow ended up wrapped around a hysterical Ginny. They all laughed till their sides ached and when Hermione emerged from around the corner they all started up again.

Ginny twisted around to face him once their laughter had died and gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek. "Thanks. Ron told that story of me and Tootles loud enough for everyone in the world; I was going to be so mad if he got away."

Harry grinned, "I heard, I'm sure we all did. And you're quite welcome, I was glad to be of assistance."

"What were you doing? I thought you said you were going to grab your broom and then meet us back out there?" Her question jolted Harry's mind and he remembered what it was he was doing before all this.

"Crap." He let go of Ginny and turned back into the kitchen, his apology already on the tip of his tongue. But as he ran over to the stove, with an arm stretched out for the pot and his mouth open to apologize, he was surprised to see that the stove was bare and the kitchen empty.

Another look around the kitchen confirmed that Blaise had taken off while Harry had been out in the hallway. He turned in disbelief to the face three curious faces behind him.

"Who're you looking for, Harry?" Hermione stepped forward and placed her warm palm on his forearm, "Are you ready to go?"

"Damn it!" Harry's loud voice and exclamation made the other three jump, "Damn him! I was trying to help!"

"Potter," a new deep voice drawled, "You're holding everyone up, and now what's just crawled up your ass? Hurry up, will ya?"

Draco had just made his way up to them and he walked straight to Hermione to slip an arm around her as Harry whirled on him with a look of annoyance, "Bug off Malfoy."

Hermione grew defensive at Harry's biting comment and was quick to back Draco up. "Harry! He hasn't done anything to you, you are holding everyone up, don't be so rude!"

Harry turned his glare to Hermione and a nasty comment sizzled on the tip of his tongue but a loud crash from upstairs brought everyone's attention elsewhere. Ginny was the closest to the staircase and she was the first to react. She took the steps two at a time as she bounded up to find the source of the crash. Everyone else exchanged a look of confusion before they hurried after her.

The hallway was empty and nothing out of the ordinary seemed to have happened but all of a sudden one of the doors at the end of the hallway was thrown open and out rushed a worried Blaise Zabini carrying an unconscious Pansy Parkinson in his arms. Draco pushed ahead off the group and threw his arms out to stop Blaise from running everyone over.

"What's wrong? Is pansy alright?" Draco looked as calm as ever but his voice shook as his eyes flickered from Blaise to Pansy.

Blaise decided it was Draco's lucky day because if he hadn't been using two hands to hold Pansy he would of definitely pulled out his wand and hexed the hell out of Draco Malfoy.

"She's obviously not alright you dumb ass, so move out of my way. It's impossible for me to apperate her to St. Mungos from here so I gotta get her outside. Now move!"

Draco's grey eyes grew wide and he reached over instinctively to take Pansy into his own arms to see for himself how bad off she was because all that was running through his mind was the same thought, _she was fine last night, she was fine last night…what happened?_

Harry by now had maneuvered himself to Draco's side and he took one look at the glaring Blaise, the unconscious Pansy, and the Draco standing there and blocking the way and quickly solved the problem.

"Merlin, get outta the way Malfoy!" Harry then shoved Draco aside and quickly waved Blaise through, "Everyone else, clear the way too!"

Blaise didn't hesitate and with two large strides he'd rounded the corner and his frantic footsteps could be heard as he rushed to the apperating threshold. Moments later Blaise's bellow of "move!" could be heard as he made his way outside and in the silence that followed his exit, the audible pop could be heard from all the way on the second floor where Harry, Draco, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny stood, eyes wide and breaths held.

Hermione, after shaking herself from the shock she was feeling due to the turn of events turned to Draco and sought his hand but he didn't respond to her touch, instead he continued to clench his fists and stare at the wall opposite from him as he moved away from her warm palm.

Instead he turned angrily to Harry and glared accusingly at him, "You knew she wasn't well, why didn't you tell me?"

"Like you would've done anything," was Harry's sharp reply. In a more condescending tone he continued, "You hadn't spared a thought to your so called friends, not about them joining us this morning, about her absence at breakfast, or whether or not they were feeling well. I didn't want to bother you while you were living the happy life."

"You don't know anything about them or me, Potter. We've all been close for almost two decades now, don't you berate me for trying to be happy in these times!"

Almost two decades of what? Friendship? Don't you mean 2 decades of them worshipping the ground you walk on? And please, we all know how you treat those you're close too Malfoy."

Draco's fist came at an alarming rate and though Harry saw it at the last moment he wasn't able to dodge it as it collided with his face.

"Harry!" "Draco!" "Oy!" came three spontaneous shouts. Ron leaped up and grabbed Harry as he stumbled back and titled towards the ground as Hermione jumped in between the boys and put her arms out. "Draco, stop it! This isn't helping anything! What are you thinking?"

Ginny pulled out her wand and was healing the already purple bruise of Harry's cheek as he struggled out of Ron's hold, his fists clenched and his face set in a scowl. "Calm down Harry," said Ginny softly, "You shouldn't have said that." She set down her wand as his bruise healed and put a soothing hand on his chest, hoping to contain his anger.

As it were, Hermione was trying to do the same for Draco but he was having none of it, he sidestepped her attempts and stormed away in a huff, his handsome face contorted with anger and anguish as Harry's words echoed in his mind.

* * *

**Now, I'd like to thank my first 3 reviewers, it's great to hear from people, so hats off to you! Now for some brief personal responese:**

TheBubbleGumGirl- Glad you're interested. I hope to keep with the length of these chapters, one of my pet peeves is short chapters that take you nowhere, but this chapter was almost 9 pages on Word in size font 10, hopefully you'll cut me some slack for taking a week or so to update!

Princess Emerald the 1st- I feel real wretched for Pansy too. I actually was a loyal Draco/Hermione shipper till I read the original "She", then I converted! lol.

sendmessagekungpinoy- I've always thought of Blaise to be a smart ass with a kind heart, hopefully he'll come off that way!


	3. Chapter 2

* * *

A frazzled Harry Potter tried to keep his cool as he wandered through the packed hallways of St. Mungos. Thanks to a new horrid rumor of Voldemort now having the power to send plagues out to the first born child of every family, many worried mothers had rushed in and were demanding treatment for their eldest. After the staff at St. Mungos realized that with all their insistence that nothing is wrong was falling on deaf ears they resorted to giving the worried mothers a bottle of vitamins to ward off the "deadly Moldy Voldy" disease.

Due to all the hassle in the wards Harry had not been able to get the information that he wanted, so Blaise and Pansy's whereabouts were still a mystery. He'd been waved off by countless nurses who ran by him with an armful of bandages and miscellaneous bottles, he was tempted to even flip up the bangs on his head to show who it was that was demanding to have his question answered, but he realized that would not help the situation, they'd probably all fall over themselves to "help" him and it would be another eon before he'd be able to see Pansy's condition.

Harry turned into a narrow but quiet hallway and took another look at his watch. Already almost an hour and a half had passed since Zabini had left with an unconscious Pansy Parkinson in his arms. Following his rushed departure was a torrent of curious questions from the other members of the Order; he'd been able to artfully dodge those, leaving Ron and Ginny to explain things as he promised them a huge favor for taking over. Not only that but he'd managed to convince Hermione to stay and clear the mess in the midst of Pansy's room. Because she didn't want the house elves to tend to it Hermione had put off her chase after Draco and acquiesced.

When the two had gone to inspect the crash in Pansy's room they both winced at the mess on the carpet. It looked like Blaise had carried the tray over to her and attempted to get her to stomach some of the porridge before she drank the potion but something had not agreed with her stomach and it all came back up. Blaise must have dropped the tray because a blue/green puddle of bubbling porridge and liquid was mixed with Pansy's puke and at the foot of her bed.

"Excuse me sir? Are you looking for your wife or child? They'll be in the packed ward over there." A petite brunette with an exasperated look was holding a stack of white linens and pointing her finger to the place Harry had just fought his way through.

"Uh, no. I'm actually looking for a friend who was brought in about an hour and a half ago. Her name is Pansy Parkinson; she certainly wasn't doing so well when she was brought in."

The nurse's face changed and she breathed a sigh of relief and the annoyed strain on her face disappeared as she said, "Oh. I'm headed to her room right now if you'd like to follow."

Harry fell into step with her gratefully as she headed towards the lift and proceeded to push the button for level 3. "Do you by any chance know what's wrong with her?"

The small nurse, who was very pretty upon closer inspection, pursed her lips and sighed. "She's obviously under a lot of stress, she was suffering from some stomach ulcers and a cold but when the doctor was looking at her he found that she'd had an allergic chemical reaction in her stomach from some expired muggle pills. That's what caused the sickness that the guy who brought her in described to us. She's fine now, tired and probably hungry, but she should be alright."

Harry nodded and though the news didn't sound good at all, despite that she was recovering, but he realized that it could've been worse. "Uh...Thanks for that. Now I won't have to ask that guy who brought her in."

"Oh, he was so very nice. So caring, that girl's lucky to have such a caring sibling!" By now they'd stepped out of the lift and were making their way along a very quiet and private hallway with doors on both sides, with the nurse's last statement though Harry stumbled over his own feet and his head snapped to look at her.

"Excuse me? Did you say siblings?" was his astonished question.

She turned to look at him weirdly, "Yeah. Step sibling is what he said. I thought you knew them…pardon me for asking so late, but how are you connected to the patient?" Harry noticed that one of her arms had slipped to her side and he suspected that she had a tight grip on her wand and was ready to hex him if he didn't come up with an answer soon. Security was such a hassle these days but Harry saw its value and could not berate this girl for being suspicious.

"I'm only acquainted with Miss Parkinson, I've yet to meet any of her family but I was there when she'd fainted and I only caught a glimpse of the guy who brought her in, I don't know him but he seemed intimidating at the time. I do believe you're right about him being caring though, you should've seen him when she collapsed." Harry tried to can his shock and surprise as he nonchalantly presented his excuse to the nurse but he noticed that her hand never left her side despite her small smile and nod at his statement.

* * *

Pansy sat on the hospital bed with her knees drawn to her chest while Blaise sat in the hard plastic chair at her side, scribbling answers about her on the stack of forms the nurse had left for them to fill out. He had moved on the relations one and noticing Pansy's vacant look he began to murmur the answers he was writing out loud.

"Married? Yes….. Spouse name... Tom Riddle. Date of Marriage? 6/6/06. Number of children... 11. Names? Gertrude, Bertha, Tom Jr., Melvin, Horatio, Horace…"

Pansy's laughter had started after hearing the marriage date for hers and Voldemort's wedding (how fitting, no?) but she was near hysterical when Blaise started naming her children, "Stop! Please! Those are such horrid names! Why would I want to punish my children like that?" Her giggles were contagious and Blaise found himself chuckling too.

"They are pretty ugly aren't they? Melvin and Gertrude, I honestly don't know where those came from."

"You know perfectly where," was Pansy's response, "You were always good at pulling stuff from thin air, or in this case, stupid ideas straight from your butt."

"Pardon, but only one thing comes out of my butt, and they're not ideas." Blaise's comment was innocently said, like he was only correcting her on a grammar issue or commenting on the fact that it's not raining, it's sprinkling (which he'd done once and Pansy had responded in making it rain, at least on him, and to be honest it was more a monsoon).

Pansy wrinkled her nose in disgust and threw the pillow from behind her at his head, "Gross. That was a stupid comeback, and it was disgusting."

"It wasn't a comeback. I was only stating the truth and pointing out your error in assuming that I was different from you and had ideas sprouting out my anal canal along with…"

"Excuse me?!" came an astonished and embarrassed voice from the door. "I'm sorry that I'm interrupting, we can come back later!"

Pansy and Blaise turned to the door and while they'd been talking they hadn't noticed that there were two new occupants who had just caught the tail end of their conversation. The poor young nurse couldn't seem to choose to be amused and laugh or let the embarrassed flush she was feeling take over and run out of the room.

The other occupant shuffled a little and when he came into view he was smirking and his amusement could be detected miles away.

"I'm sorry that we disturbed your thought process, would you like to continue that sentence Zabini?" asked Harry, his voice toned so that it sounded like he was deeply sorry for interrupting.

Blaise lifted a dark brow and accepted Harry's silent challenge, "As a matter of fact, I will. As I was saying Pansy, I only have solid body waste exit my anal canal, like you, like her, and my goodness, also like the Boy-who-wouldn't-die."

Harry quickly glanced sideways at the nurse to see if she understood that little slip about who he was but she was only amused at the banter and wasn't reading into anything else.

Pansy and the brown haired nurse smiled and bit back their giggles as Harry scoffed and walked further into the room, "Damn, you're no fun Zabini." He pulled up the only other chair and took a seat next to Blaise who seemed to not have heard him.

Both boys sat and picked a spot off on the distant wall to look at before both tried to discreetly turn and glance at the other. Pansy watched this and laughed loudly when they both turned away simultaneously. Though she'd never been a fan of Potter's, at the moment she didn't see him as the _Potter,_ he was just a guy that was being idiotic and silly and Pansy had always liked those guys. She slid her eyes over to Blaise and felt glad that he and Potter were finally getting along, since Blaise and she were pretty much each other's company, she was pretty psyched that Blaise was finally bonding with a male friend. Despite loving her friendship with Blaise she never could adapt to the dry and vulgar boy jokes he often told.

Pansy stretched her arms and then directed a lazy smile at the nurse that was still smiling while watching the boys avoid each other, trying to beat each other in the game of i-can-ignore-you-the-longest, which translates to –i-bet-i-can-be-the-more-stubborn-ass.

"Do you want to come in? We can transfigure something into another chair if you want a seat."

The petite brunette shook her head and started a regretful tone, "I wish I could, I mean, I'd love to but there's a lot I've gotta get done. Thanks though, if you're still her later I'll be sure to stop by. Oh and here are your hospital jammies if you're to stay the night." She placed the light blue outfit on the bed while Pansy eyed them with a look of disgust.

"You don't have to leave them here, I'm not staying the night and I'm definitely not wearing those."

"Oh? But the paperwork that you filled out said you were." The nurse turned to look at the stack of papers still in Blaise's hands, "If I remember right, it was his signature on the form requesting for a night stay…."

"What? But I know I signed my own release form; I did that after the doctor said I could leave!" Pansy's voice was dripping with danger and though she tried to control it she couldn't help the frustration that was welling inside her. She harbored a mega fear for hospitals, they were for people who were badly off, for people who could no longer stand up to the world, and she sure has heck still had a lot of fight left in her, she wasn't staying in a place like this any longer.

"Pans, Calm down. I think you need a night here so they can monitor your condition." Said Blaise soothingly, trying to make Pansy see reason.

"I don't have a condition. I'm fine." Pansy was going to argue this until she won; she wasn't going to stay here.

Blaise recognized her tone, it was her fighting tone, he really didn't want to argue with her, but if he must… "I beg to differ Pansy."

"Then differ on your own. I'm outta here." Pansy flung away the light blue blanket she had draped on her legs and made a move to get off the bed but Blaise stood up and grabbed her arm in a strong grip that she had no chance of breaking in her state.

"Just get back into bed. Seriously, don't make me make you get back in it."

"Bite me!" She stood up defiantly and proceeded to yank her arm away but like he predicted his grip remained. "Gods, Blaise, I'm seriously fine!"

Blaise yanked her close and used his other arm to push up the long sleeve shirt she had on to reveal her thin arm. "You call this fine? You're a walking skeleton, you are not fine!" he hissed.

The silence in the room was pounding in everyone's ears, Harry and the nurse felt like they were witnessing something they had no right to, but both were frozen in their spots, watching this exchange. After a few more moments Pansy's clenched fists slackened along with the rest of her taut body. She looked up at Blaise with sad, hollow eyes.

"Can you blame me for losing my appetite in times like these? Do you expect me to be able to stomach food after maiming or possibly killing someone who I used to consider a friend back in school? And am I also expected to sleep peacefully after watching another member's blood be spilled in a battle? Is losing weight due to all this a condition that can be cured? I'd stay here the rest of my life if it meant it could be, but I know better than that Blaise, I know better than that."

Blaise couldn't look her in the eye as he digested her questions, couldn't look her in the eye lest his emotions get the best of him once he took in the completely lifeless stupor she was in and once that happened he wouldn't be able to hold himself back from lashing out at her and slapping her silly. The reasons she gave were honestly a part of what was haunting her and hurting her, but the true reason for her horrid state was not mentioned and it was because she didn't place any blame on that reason.

Blaise let her arm drop once he recognized that the red, hot anger that threatened to consume him would not recede. "Get back into the bed." He gritted out and then turned on his heel and stomped out of the room.

Pansy didn't glance up as he left the room; she tiredly turned back to the hospital bed and sat down, defeated, knowing that Blaise saw through her excuses. If he could read her like a book then it was fair to see that she could read him too.

Harry and the nurse watched her draw her knees to her and settle her head between them and moments later they both quietly retreated as Pansy's shoulders started to shake as silent sobs washed over her.

Blaise had walked down the hallway some yards when he had abruptly stopped and turned back to Pansy's room to lean against the wall next to her door to sulk. He couldn't bear to be farther away from her in case anything happened but he refused to go back in to admit that his annoyance with her had dissipated so quick, _let her worry about me for a change_.

Even if his annoyance with Pansy had gone from his system, the anger he had towards a certain blond friend had not lessened at all. He and Draco had always been close, they'd never built up a bond as tight as the infamous Potter and Weasley duo but they had ties between them; but in the past few years Blaise felt that those ties were reduced to small strings. Give it a more years and those strings will all eventually snap, _unless I cut them myself first…_

Blaise had always thought Draco was an alright guy, loyal, dependable, slow to trust but once you earned his trust it would take a lot to sever that, and he was honest. He'd always been somewhat cold and blunt but that was just how he grew up and it was this trait that made him Draco Malfoy. It was the fact that he was untouchable, invincible, and emotionless that made him their ringleader back in school. Back then they needed someone strong like that to withstand all the stinging comments about their house, their family, and all their beliefs.

_But not anymore._ Blaise never actually understood how he went from admiring Draco Malfoy to despising him, or how he still transitioned between those these days. At the moment he was certainly on the despising side of the spectrum….

"Hey, you alright?" Harry's voice made Blaise jerk his head up, and in the process of doing so he gave himself a crick in the neck.

"Damn it," Blaise cursed as he brought up a hand to cup his neck, he continued to grimace until the pain subsided then turned to glare at the boy in front of him like it was all his fault that Blaise was this mess, "I'm fine Potter, 'sides, why do you care?"

Harry sighed before answering, "We've been over this. Because I want too, is that enough reason for you Zabini?"

"Like it matters if it's enough for me or not," scoffed Blaise.

"Exactly, so shut the hell up."

"Careful there Potter, saying it makes your trip there that much quicker."

"What? What's gonna happen? What did I say?"

"Calm down Saint Potty….it's just this thing with me and Pansy. She doesn't give a fuck if you say all the bad words known to man, but when it comes to the H-E double hokey sticks then she jumps on you to not say it and such. Saying when you say it, it pushes you closer to it. I've always said it to piss her off, but I guess after hearing her get on my case so many times about it then it starts to rub off on ya. Don't know, really."

Harry was stunned into silence for a minute, he couldn't believe that Blaise _Zabini_ had just shared something with him; it took him another minute to come up with something to say back. "Don't you mean hoc_k_ey sticks?"

Blaise gave him a puzzled look. Harry realized that in the two minutes in which he had been unresponsive Blaise's thoughts had moved on. "You said hokey sticks, I think, I mean, it's hockey sticks."

Blaise had a thoughtful look on his face before he smirked, "Hockey…hockey, you don't say. So all along Pansy had it wrong….interesting. Can't wait to rub that in her face. Not that it makes much of a difference to me."

Harry surprised the both of them when he started to laugh, "You guys have been saying _hokey _sticks all along? Wait till Hermione hears about this!"

Blaise's smile, which had grown along with Harry's laugh all of a sudden froze on his face and seemed to shatter away. His eyes became hard and his lip curled up in disgust. "Granger's a bitch. She should have thrown away those expired pills. Leaving them there….it's all her fault."

Harry was surprised at the hostility in Blaise's tone and he was quick to defend his innocent friend, "Hermione didn't know. They've been there since we first moved in, she hardly uses them because potions are quicker, and it's been a while since anyone's been sick. It's not her fault." Harry couldn't believe Blaise wanted to pin Pansy being sick on Hermione, it was ludicrous to blame her, what Harry didn't get though was that Blaise didn't actually blame Hermione for this, (at least not 100) but that Blaise was sour when anything touched on Hermione, and that he used every chance he could to put her down.

"Are you saying it's Pansy's fault then?" he challenged.

"She was the one to take the damn pills without looking at the expiration date!"

"Who knew muggles put that on there? They write it so that one has to hunt for it, and that's while in broad daylight, to see it in the black of night with one bulb of light is a ridiculous thing to ask of someone sick!" Enraged, Blaise was about to continue shouting away but something caught in the corner of his eye and all of a sudden he shut his mouth and started walking away from Harry.

Harry was still processing Blaise's words, seeing the truth of it once it was pointed out, but to blame Hermione was still a crazy thing to do, when he looked up from the floor though Blaise was stomping away towards somebody. He couldn't see who it was because of Blaise's hunkering form but it must be someone not welcome here because his strides were short, clipped and his back rigged and taut.

Once he had moved a few more feet though Harry saw a shock of white blond hair and he instantly knew who it was that Blaise wasn't welcoming into Pansy's sick room. Harry rushed after Blaise and tried to get him to stop, "Zabini! Will you come back here? Hey! Zabini!"

Draco turned as he heard Potter yell out Blaise's name. He'd blown off his steam and now he was anxious to see how Pansy was doing, he'd thought of nothing but how he'd been treating her lately and how she was doing the past two hours. He walked briskly over towards Blaise and the two boys met in the middle, but what Draco expected was for Blaise to lead him to Pansy's room not Blaise's fist.

Harry stopped short as he saw Blaise's fist connect with Draco's face, he watched stunned as Draco was sent sprawling to the ground due to the shock of being caught so unaware.

Draco, being a Malfoy and possessing nearly all the self dignity a person could have, jumped back to his feet immediately and even managed to hide all traces that he was experiencing a giant head rush so he couldn't see anything but blackness in front him. Despite that he fixed a menacing glare at the person he could sense in front of him and angrily exclaimed, "What the hell Blaise!"

His vision was starting to show in spots and now he could make out the equally angry look on Blaise's face as he ignored Draco's cry and started to swing his fist again. Luckily for Draco, Harry had approached them now and quickly reached out to stop Blaise's fast approaching fist, "Zabini! Wait, what are you thinking, calm down!"

Draco felt the trickle of a raw and metallic taste run onto his tongue and he turned his head to spit it out but realized he'd be making a mess and so he swallowed the blood in his mouth with a look of disgust and he rubbed a calloused hand across the swelling on his cheek.

Now that he was sure Blaise wouldn't be able to swing at him anymore, Draco turned to him again and bit out, "What-the-hell-Blaise! Do you want to explain what the heck just happened or should I return that wonderful welcoming gesture before we move on?"

Blaise struggled in Harry's grip as he tried to free himself; _Damn Potty is stronger than he looks, gods damn..._ So while being held back Blaise tried his hardest to look Draco in the eye, "That wasn't a welcome gesture, in case you're too thick to get it through, that meant get-outta-here dumb ass."

Draco was too mad now to register that Blaise must have a reason for being like this; instead he was only aware of the fact that he'd just been punched in the face and he was now being insulted to his face, he wanted to reach over and throttle Blaise but Potter was over there giving him the stink eye that meant "You better calm the fuck down too".

"You know what Zabini? Why don't you get outta here, and once I'm done visiting you can come back"

"Who the heck are you to tell me to leave faggot?

"I'm Draco fucking Malfoy, the world revolves around me, get used to it."

"Ha-ha, right, well dream over, time to wake up. Get."

"I think you're the one dreaming. This is reality, it's a bitch, I know."

"You're the bitch, now be a good one and GET."

Harry felt that they could've kept going forever and though he was quite impressed at the rate that these two came up with such insults, there was the beginnings of a crowd around them and he had to put a stop to it before this leaked out any further. "Merlin, please, I'm begging you two, can we save this for later?" His arms were getting quite a workout with trying to keep Blaise from springing out and tackling Draco, even if he had no problem with letting him go, he felt that he shouldn't. With one short burst of strength he managed to wrestle Blaise to the right and now he was standing between the two, preventing them from seeing each other.

"Now, if you two are done being dykes, move your butts. You're causing a commotion here."

Draco was breathing hard and his mind was working fast, spinning insults to throw at Potter when he saw movement around him that confirmed the specters Potter was talking about. He turned his head and saw the Blaise was hunkering down the hallway so he began moving after him when a hand clamped down on his shoulder and pulled him in the opposite direction.

"Hey!" came Draco's enraged protest but before he could go on Harry gave him a hard shove and said, "She's down this way. Room 223, on your left. God, quit screaming."

Before Draco could whirl around to deliver the punch that was itching to lash out, Harry had already turned and was now a good 2 yards away, pursuing Blaise.

Draco took 10 consecutive large breaths to calm himself and to take away the pink flush he was sure his face was sporting, he didn't want Pansy to pick up on that and ask him what happened, she was bound to do so, she was always so perceptive of everything.

After spending as much time as he could bear to spend outside her door, Draco slowly reached for the doorknob and gently let himself in. The room was dim because the sun was setting outside and no one had bothered to turn on the lamp next to the bed.

As Draco's eyes adjusted to the room he blindly took steps forward until his foot hit the bed. On the bed he saw a small person curled up on her side with a sickeningly happy light blue blanket drawn up to the middle of her stomach. He moved quietly moved around the bed to her side and after peering down at her face he took a seat by her side to watch her sleep.

Time faded away as Draco sat there, he didn't think or feel anything as he watched over Pansy. There was something calming and soothing about just having to sit there and do nothing but watch over someone dear to you. Who knew how much time had passed before Draco himself began to doze in his seat, it could've been hours, or a few minutes, but Draco remembered clearly that he was pretty out of it by the time the window outside no longer shed any light into the small hospital room.

When Draco's head fell completely onto the hand that he was using to prop himself up Pansy smiled softly. She'd been awake from the moment his foot had hit the bed and jostled her. She had thought it was Blaise, coming in to abide with her wishes of leaving, she had been set to apologize and to even beg, but when she saw a shock of white blond hair she had shut her eyes tightly and feigned sleep. Her heart was going 140 beats per minute and she was pretty convinced that Draco could hear those frantic heart beats, especially when he had leaned down close to look at her face and his warm breath had spread over her face for a few moments.

Pansy had lay there, tense and waiting for the moment that he would shake her awake, but after a long stretch of time (or so it felt like that, she sure as heck wasn't keeping track) it became obvious that he wasn't going to "wake" her up. She kept real still and controlled her breathing as she opened her eyes a tiny bit to peer out at him beneath her lashes. She clamped them shut again when she saw him move his arm and she was sure he noticed the glitch in her breathing.

Pansy felt the mattress give slightly as he leaned an arm down next to her and after waiting for all his movements to stop completely she again peeked out at him. _My. God. It should be a sin to be that perfect looking._ That was certainly one of the reasons Pansy was so captivated with him. Forget his haunting voice, forget his calm demeanor, screw the fact that he was intelligent and loyal; simply _look_ at him and anyone can see why she was so head over heels.

Now that Draco was sleeping Pansy took her time in looking at him. Over the years she'd done her fair share of admiring his good looks, but she never could get enough. Back when she was younger, probably age 7 or so she had berated herself for thinking he was so cute. She actually took it on him once, screaming at him to get out of her sight for seemingly no apparent reason. And then there was the time when she was about 9, when she'd had enough of that voice in her head and had foolishly told herself that _"One day Draco and I will be married and then I can look at him all I want!"_

_So much for that_,mused Pansy. Looking back at how she thought back then, thinking that Draco would always come back to her, that he would one day realize that she'd been waiting for him along, she couldn't kick herself enough times.

Oh, if only she had not fallen for him so many years ago because honestly, after meeting Draco Malfoy for the first time she had despised him. He was the same size as her then and only half a year older than she but he was such a butt-face. Looking at her like she was inferior, always boasting about his Daddy and the money that he had in Gringotts, and the fact that he could buy anything he wanted, he'd once gone as far as saying he could even buy her.

Pansy hated him and had convinced herself she would always hate him; at least she did, till about a week into their private lessons, where they'd been paired to sit next to each other. At first he was his usual snotty self but day after day Pansy started to pick up on the other little traits that made up Draco Malfoy. Sure, he was a snot, but only for show. All throughout lessons he paid attention to the tutor, he was polite to her whenever they had to do something together, he worked diligently and even helped her with her work when she asked, without making fun of her at all.

Pansy slowly but surely started to like Draco Malfoy for that. And over time she learned why he was so cold and rude to people, he had learned at a tender age that because of the power his family wielded, many would try to befriend him to use him, so he acted like so to scare off people. He'd done a good job of it too, but Pansy was always one to forgive and forget and before long she had managed to worm her way into his heart and the two began a friendship that only grew stronger…and it soon developed into something more, _at least for me it did, _thought Pansy.

While she was still lost in her thoughts Draco jerked awake, it was like he'd been splashed with a bucket of non-existent cold water or something, he surprised himself and he scared Pansy, judging from the scream she let out.

"Draco!" Pansy reached out to him after she managed to take in air, using all in her previous breath on that banshee scream, she was so frazzled she hardly realized that she actually called out Draco's name.

Draco was dazed after Pansy's scream and he must have also been out of it too, but as soon as Pansy called out his name he suddenly realized that it had been ages since she had called him Draco. Why he noticed then was a mystery, but it was just such a shock.

Pansy had once said that she thought his name was absolutely perfect and had spent an entire day just saying his name out loud, her way of singing him praises, or so that was what he thought of it. He'd feigned annoyance at her that entire day but it had made him feel a lot better because secretly he had hated his name, he had thought that it was something he had to live up too and he'd always been afraid he wouldn't be able to live up to it. Draco was such a … strong and scary name, so someone name Draco had to be scary and strong too, right?

Draco instinctively reached out to grasp her extended hand and he brought it gently down to the bed but did not release it. "Hey, it's alright. I'm fine and I'm sorry for frightening you" he smiled crookedly at her and instead of calming her like he'd intended to do it sped up Pansy's heart rate even more. All of a sudden Pansy was very aware of Draco's hold on her hand; his warmth was like molten lava to her cold hand.

"What happened to you? You all of a sudden jerked awake…." Pansy faked a yawn and subtly withdrew her fingers from Draco's hand to cover her mouth. Draco's eyes narrowed playfully at her and after she had dropped her arm back down he reached for her hand again and this time trapped it between both of his.

"Your hands are freezing. I'll warm them up for you." Draco had ignored her question for he actually had no answer and instead opted to bring her cold fingers to his mouth to blow warm air on them to warm them up.

"You don't have to, I'm fine." Though she said it, she had no intention of taking her hands away again and if he withdrew then she would surely worm them back into his warm hold.

"Yeah, I know." Time passed and Pansy's cold hand was warmed by Draco's efforts. When her right one was sufficient enough for him he let it go gently and reached for her left one to continue his ministrations. The silence in the room was comfortable and after a while Pansy sighed and gave a grin.

Draco looked up at her with a quirked eyebrow, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing really, it's just been while since I've been alone with you is all."

Draco smiled but inside he felt that horrid guilt well up again. He knew that he came here because he cared for Pansy and was worried, but he was ashamed to admit, even to himself, that he came so that he could ease the guilt he'd come face to face with when he'd realized that Potter's accusations had been true; he really had forgotten about Pansy and Blaise, even if it was for a short while, he still stopped worrying.

He was telling himself that it was alright; he'd righted it in time, but deep down Draco was scared that if Blaise and Potter hadn't doused him with the truth he'd have continued on, oblivious to the neglect he was showing to some of the most important people in his life.

Pansy settled back into the pillows propped up behind her, she was content to sit in silence with her present company, heck; she would've sat without complaint on the coldest of nights if it meant it would be time with Draco. After thinking that though Pansy mentally slapped herself, _I'm such a pathetic, simpering, clichéd, and idiotic person_. She had built up quite some steam when a soft comment from Draco made her freeze.

"You know, I was just hit with the fact that you haven't called me Draco since school ended, at least till a moment ago."

_You're wrong Draco. It was the 24__th__ of December. Months before the end of 7__th__ year, you're way off _was what Pansy wanted to point out to him, but she couldn't say anything. She was busy cursing herself for letting that slip and wondering how Draco had caught it.

Draco for his part, kept his eyes trained on Pansy's emotionless face as he continued, "You never had an issue with my name before. Remember? You sang my name for an entire day once." He tried for some light humor at the end there but nothing budged on Pansy's face.

Draco's eyes narrowed as she continued to remain impassive, just what had he touched on? What was making her freeze up like this? "Hey, Pans..." Draco smirked as her eyes flickered to his face, "and Pots?"

At last Pansy cracked a small smile; it had been ages since he'd used that on her. Pansy had always been so jealous of people with names that shortened to cute little nicknames, but hers when shortened turned to something highly unpleasant. Who in hell wanted to be called Pans? Draco of course had found pure delight in calling her that to irk her, and then when the "Pots" part was added, it only furthered his amusement. And it wasn't like there was much she could use to retaliate, Drake was normal and cool sounding, so she opted to just take it and enjoy the moments in which he laughed, even if it was at her expense.

"Shut up you. And, I just…Malfoy is just shorter, it saves me air, which you know, is becoming more and more...uh, polluted these days." Despite it sounding bloody stupid Pansy figured some excuse was better than no excuse.

Draco grinned at her response and replied good naturally, "It's both two syllables and I really rather you take up some of my air, which is of the best quality, I assure you, than to call me Malfoy." Wrenching a smile from Pansy with that Draco continued, in a musing, making-small-talk tone while she turned to stare out the dark window. "Honestly? The way you say it makes me seem like a stranger to you, an ass-like one at that." Draco chuckled before adding one last thought. "It's really like going back in time and hearing Hermione talk to me in those days that…well, those days that don't mean anything anymore."

With her back turned to him Draco wasn't able to see the enormity of his words on Pansy. If he had been paying close attention, he'd have seen the tightness of her back when he said Hermione's name and he'd have heard the sharp intake of air when his last seven words registered in her mind.

Pansy tried to swallow the hurt and she breathed back the tears and in her best attempt of an uncaring voice she said she was tired and wanted to rest, "And could you get Blaise for me?"

Draco picked up on her change in demeanor while she stated her request and he couldn't fathom where it could've come from. "Are you really staying the night? You hate hospitals. And...What is it you need done? I'll do it." Draco hadn't forgiven Blaise just yet and with the other's boy's name his calm mood had turned a tad sour.

Pansy's voice was quiet, "I just do."

"Pansy, I can help you too. Do you need the loo or something? Some water?"

Pansy didn't relent, she turned to look him sharply in the eye and was oddly pleased to see that look of discomfort on Draco's face, she'd worn it so many times behind his back that it was nice to see it on him for once, and it was a bonus that it was because of her. _I'm a sick person, I'm horrible…_but it didn't stop her from continuing. "You should just leave. I'm honestly tired and Blaise is my friend, I need him right now, you can't do what I need him too."

Draco stood up abruptly, it had taken a lot to get in here, he was not leaving right now when something was obviously bugging Pansy. He knew it had to be something that was his fault because she'd been fine up till a few moments ago. He must have said something ….but what? "Pansy, what's wrong? Why are you like this now? I'm not leaving; it took a lot to get in here, you might as well tell me."

While waiting for her response Draco mentally repeated everything he'd said. Nothing was rude or vulgar or insulting. He knew the things that made Pansy tick and he hadn't said anything that touched on those lines. Heck, he hadn't even said the word hell…yet.

When she still didn't say anything Draco felt his quick temper flicker once again, she was always like this, shutting down and being unresponsive when something upset her, how was he to figure things out so he could solve them if he didn't know what the "thing" was.

"Pansy. Come on. Stop being unreasonable, just…"

"Shut the fuck up!" exploded Pansy, what right did he have to be annoyed at her? She sat up straight and glared at him coldly, "Leave!"

Draco couldn't believe his ears or his eyes. He held her glare but after a moment he dropped it because he was shocked to see tears welling up in her eyes, which were too red and weary for his liking.

"Pansy," Draco reached out a hand to pull her to him but she quickly disentangled herself from the blanket and sheets wrapped around her and got off the bed on the other end, putting the bed between them and successfully avoiding his touch.

"Just leave, please." Her voice was quiet and it trembled slightly, as an afterthought she added "I can't deal with this right now. I need Blaise"

This time Draco's temper flared. "Why are you being like this? I can't believe that I show up here because I care and everyone wants me gone! Blaise greets me with a punch, Potter tells me off and now you're kicking me out! What the hell Pansy!"

Pansy pulled herself together; though she was surprised at his words and knew she didn't believe a word of what she was going to say, she sure as heck wasn't going down like this "Then get out! Can't you take a hint? I don't want you here, Blaise doesn't want you here, and we've even picked Potter over you! Just go!"

Her words stung him but he pressed on, determined to figure out what in hell was wrong. "No." Draco's voice was rock steady, he didn't become flustered in situations like this, and he wasn't going to let Pansy have her way until he got his, "Not till you tell why you're being like this. What is going on? Why have _my_ friends turned on me?"

"Don't you stand there and whine Draco Malfoy. And don't you start on that topic of turning backs, and who are you calling friends? You don't do anything but discuss weather with me and Blaise these days, why do we have to stick around for that?"

Again, that cold bucket of disturbing truth drenched Draco from head to toe, "Pansy, I …I" even when he was at a lost for words Draco seemed to the most composed person on the planet. Seeing his completely indifferent front drove the newly inserted dagger in Pansy's heart further in.

Quietly from the corner by the window she quoted Draco form moments before, "Those years where Hermione called me Malfoy, those years that don't mean anything." Draco's entire being froze, _shit. _He opened his mouth to say something, but what could he say?

Pansy watched him look down regretfully. _Draco, I would've believed whatever excuse you threw at me. I really would've, please, say something…_when only silence reigned in the dark room Pansy continued in a stronger voice, "Those years that mean nothing to you Malfoy? They mean everything to me. Especially compared to now. Now, in the midst of a war, in a time where I'm a shadow of who I used to be, in a time where my future is nothing but a gloomy bloodbath, in the time where I'm lucky to get 4 hours of sleep a week! And in the time where my best and oldest friend says I mean nothing to him. Those years were the years where you and I thrived, and now? Now they don't mean _anything?_ Well Thanks Malfoy, now if you'd be so kind, please get out of my sight."

Draco's own defense mechanisms kicked in and he turned and left swiftly, leaving behind in his wake another gash on an already cut up heart.

When Draco stepped out into the lit hallways he felt like he'd just traveled miles on foot. His breathing was forced and irregular, he felt fatigue bombard his senses and mentally he felt drained. It didn't help any when he was greeted with stoic stares from both Blaise and Potter, _those two must have kissed and made up_ were his humorless thoughts.

"How is she?" came Blaise's question. He made sure to get across that he was asking very begrudgingly. After walking in on Draco and Pansy softly conversing with each other, he'd quietly but hesitantly bowed out of the picture, not wanting to disturb the happy look Pansy wore so obviously when in Draco's presence. But when he saw Draco walking out, looking like shit his palms started to sweat some.

Draco avoided both of their faces, feeling that if he looked in either he'd feel the urge to beat them to a pulp return, 10 times strong this time. He turned his back on them, and decided he needed a few more hours of sulking before he'd be able to face anyone without glaring. After a few steps though, and after Blaise's indignant sputter he turned and threw "Fine" to them and then continued on his way.

Blaise stood and silently fumed, _Bastard_ he mentally sent at Dracos' retreating back. _Merlin help you if anything is wrong with her, if you hurt a hair on her head I'll castrate you. _Blaise vented a bit more before he turned towards the door and started to reach for the knob…just as it was turned from the inside.

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**Man. It's been a while and it's been hard. The wait was long, it's just, I had a hard time with deciding what I wanted to happen next. That and school is being a pain in the butt. Oh well. ). Thanks for reading.**


	4. Chapter 3

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**More than a month, my bad. Apologies all around, but I hope you guys like this next part. Good news is I've actually written the entire part of the Christmas party (guess you'll havge to read to find out what I'm talking about ;)...Thanks to those who've reviewed though, it helps motivate a person. **

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The soft click of the door seemed to echo in the small, dark hospital room. Pansy stared tiredly into the blackness around her before she moved as if in a trance to the door. Her hand was already on the knob when she realized that she was being ridiculous. For once in her life she had stood up and told Draco off, she had been the one to dismiss him, how many times in her life had the opportunity presented itself? How many times had it slapped her in the face and made her walk away with her tail in between her legs? Why would she _want_ to apologize to him for it? _I don't and I'm not going to._

Squaring her shoulders to the invisible demon of regret she opened the door and was prepared to tackle the demon in the form of Blaise Zabini, she could sense he was on the other side (she had teased many times that it was the horrid smell of his socks, but really she had heard his quiet grumblings), and she was going to insist on leaving the bloody hospital, _over my dead body will I stay here voluntarily._

Upon opening the door, Pansy had braced herself to be pushed back into the room, to be made to stay by force, but Blaise gave her a quick once over and then gave a her a look that clearly conveyed _you win this ONE time_, then he proceeded to link her arm through his as they apperated on the spot.

Harry Potter was left standing in the hospital in a state of disbelief, _Slytherins are so ….temperamental! One minute they're at each other's throats and the next they're back to looking out for each other like no other or defending the person's honor which they just finished attacking. _Harry reached into the pockets of his muggle jeans and giving a minor headshake he too disappeared.

Number 12 of Grimmauld was alive with another night of before bed chatter. Who knew how long this time of togetherness would last? Already new assignments were being posted but the earliest one that would last more than 3 days would not take off till the 13th of December, at least everyone knew they had a few precious weeks before the chaos resumed. When Pansy and Blaise had landed in the spot designated for apparitions they were met with an empty courtyard. Apparently the mass of people that had gathered after their departure didn't harbor anything for them, it was nothing but a light curiosity for the issue at hand and since then they'd found other things to busy themselves with.

The two of them had no awkward run ins as they made their way upstairs and after Pansy fought another mini-battle with Blaise she was finally able to retreat to the quiet of her room, by herself.

She threw on a navy blue sweater to help keep the little warmth her body produced stay around her and after casting a locking charm on her door Pansy went to the untouched bags, still shrunken in her tan coat pocket, and began to unpack them. There was some of the dirty laundry that she hadn't bothered with, and the books that kept her sane during dusk; when the warm and bright sun (her only companion when she was out in the wild) sunk beneath the horizon to go greet the other side of the world. A pile of things started on Pansy's bed and once all her bags were clear Pansy actually felt glad to see the chaotic mess in the midst of her room.

After another hour of shuffling around her belongings and separating the things that needed to be cleaned or washed Pansy sank down onto the ground and did the last thing she wanted to do; she fell into her memories and started to re-watch her own life from a third person's point of view. She'd always been such a cold and ferocious person, one that was frigid ice on the outside and on the inside. But she wasn't always like that. Believe it or not, Pansy was like most girls, she liked cute things, she had a sweet tooth, she cared about what people thought of her, and she also had a special crush on that _one_ boy.

The difference between her and most girls was the fact that most girls could act like most girls and get through the day. Pansy couldn't. From the beginning of her life she'd been bred to be the best. Or at least stomp on those that are better than you. She grew up in a tight knit family but love was scarce. Her mother had never fully matured, or so it seemed, she had been kind and there but she was never mother material. Her father treated her like a project, he was always asking about her progress in this or that. They fawned over her, that was for sure, but they had their own reasons for doting on her, they each wanted something from her; her mother wanted a doll to make pretty, and her father, a complete piece of work he could show off and display.

So since she was young, she had to learn how to give a lot and take back a little and to stay in the zone of the majority. Give enough effort to please those around her so that they might show her a little affection in return. That was how it was, until she came to Hogwarts. This had even worked with Draco, if she gave him a bit of patience, if she fanned his ego a bit; he would open up to her. As for the majority, she'd grown up a tight circle of people, they were all purebloods so that's who she associated herself with and she found that if she kept up with all that they expected of her then everything was fine. Because then, everyone she knew was of the same level, everyone was similar, everyone was everyone.

But at Hogwarts, from the minute she was sorted into Slytherin, a choice she made, a choice she did _not_ regret, but just from the moment she was drawn out of the whole and thrown into a minority; she learned one shouldn't give anything, for when one does, people think that it's alright to take more.

_An eleven year old Pansy was sitting in a dimly lit corner of the library with her head on a charms text book, dozing the night away. It was an exceptionally loud giggle from the shelves next to her that woke her up. Upon waking and discovering that she was out past curfew and that she wasn't the only one Pansy quickly gathered her wits and her things with only one though: Gotta get out….can't get caught…gotta get out…_

"_Dev! Stop it, your hands are so cold!" the girl's protests couldn't sound anymore fake, considering the fact that they were followed by a chorus of shrill giggles._

_Pansy flushed and she quickly gathered her things, she didn't know the details of what was going on in the shelves but she knew enough that the noises she was hearing wasn't two people studying. She shoved the heavy textbooks in her bag haphazardly, not caring that they were crumpling the Charms essay she had spent so long on. At last, everything she needed to take was in her bag, a few spare quills were still scattered on the table but she could care less. Heaving the monstrous bag onto her left shoulder Pansy began to scuttle away but her foot caught the leg of the chair she hadn't bothered to push in and she lost her footing. Her book bag swung off her arm, hitting the chair with a thump and making her gasp at the pain it caused her as it dragged her arm down._

_Things happened real fast after that, just like they always do. The soft murmurs and erratic breaths that filled the quiet air moments ago was replaced by total silence and suddenly, Pansy found herself being looked down on by two much older and much bigger students. _

_Pansy's lower lip trembled but her voice was coldly confident as she asked them to move out of her way._

_The boy, a Ravenclaw from the colors of the loosened tie still around his neck, chuckled and lifted a hand to grasp her chin, tilting her face up to the sliver of moonlight slanting in from the high windows. "So little, yet so old. What are you doing in here by yourself? Were you enjoying the show little girl?" His suggested tone of voice weaved its way to Pansy's inside and paralyzed her with a sense of dread, she had to get away._

_The girl standing at his side gave a pout and grasped the arm he was using to hold Pansy's chin, "What are you doing Devon? She's younger than your youngest sister and not at all attractive!"_

"_Kinsey, God, you can't honestly be __**jealous**__." He turned and threw her a roguish wink but despite that, he also took a step closer to Pansy, trapping her between the table and his body. And unknown to the Kinsey girl, Pansy caught an annoyed roll of his eyes when he saw that a sultry smile had returned to the older girl's face._

_Kinsey took little comfort in his word, though she gave him a soft smile… and she wasn't actually jealous…at least not too much, but the young girl who was still staring defiantly at Devon was __**cute.**__ She was young, but not in a childish way, she had an innocence to her, and while her features were somewhat angular, it worked; add that, her deep blue eyes and the fact that she wasn't cowering in the presence of Devon Mendhal together and.…if only she was older, she'd be the ideal girl._

"_Now, what's your name sweet?"_

"_None of your business." was Pansy's terse reply. She tried to haul her heavy book bag up to her shoulder but the materials of her robes continued to make the strap slip. _

_Kinsey's eyes narrowed as she caught sight of the Slytherin House emblem on the young girl's robes, Slytherin girls were all whores, and no wonder, starting at an age so young…such despicable people. She marched up to Devon, __**her**__ boyfriend, (who was starting to get a rush of feelings for the slightly trembling girl he was bearing down on) and firmly wedged herself in between them. "Devon, let's go, I'm tired now, come to bed."_

_Before he could say a word Kinsey had turned and was now facing Pansy, who was looking up at her in awe, but the older girl did not smile reassuringly, did not wink at her to let her know that girls here will always stick up for each other, instead, she reached out a manicured hand and gripped Pansy's forearm. In a whisper laced with hate she coldly said, "Back off you little Slytherin whore, or I will tear you inside out, knock you off your fucking pedestal, and make sure no guy will want you." Her nails dug into her arm and despite her sleeve being there Pansy could still fill the sharp, hot, sting._

_Meanwhile, Devon backed a few steps away and watched the two girls from under his lashes, tonight was turning out to be pretty interesting, and who knew Kinsey, a girl who was the picture of seduction was so flawed? Seductress or not, the girl sure was damn clingy and…ferocious as well. He liked that, ferocious girls were always so much more fun. But the young one, the one who clearly hadn't heard of his reputation yet didn't fall at his feet, she looked him in the eye and silently challenged him; the fact that she looked real cute turned this experience into a real turn-on. _

_Pansy was flabbergasted; this older girl had helped her because she thought she was making a move on her boyfriend? "I'm eleven years old" Pansy wanted to tell her, but the grip on her arm was real intimidating and frightening._

_Kinsey glowered down at Pansy and was becoming frustrated at the younger girl's lack of reaction. She should be quivering in her…very cute, very __**designer**__black shoes. _

"_Kinsey, are you going to tear her arm off? If so, hurry up, I'm tired." Devon's indifferent drawl snapped her back from the jealousy rage she was on and after another menacing grip she let go and sashayed over to __**her**__ boyfriend._

_As Pansy breathed a small sigh of relief while watching the two of them walk away, hips bumping provocatively, Devon glanced back at her. Their eyes met and he shot her a wink and a soft smirk. Pansy, with shaken nerves, gathered her things and hurried away to the other entrance, promising herself that she'd never stay out past curfew again._

_She was a turn and a corridor length away from the Slytherin Common room entrance when a cold hand covered her mouth, stifling her scream as an arm wound around her waist, pulling her into a broom closet a few yards back._

_With no light in the broom closet, Pansy's fear only doubled, she hated the dark, absolutely loathed it. Her captor was still unknown; if it was a boy could she fight and get away? What if it was a girl? _

_A whispered Lumos and a second later the small room was bathed in a bright wand light. Pansy's eyes grew wide at the face now visible. _

_Kinsey had found a new hatred for that Slytherin whore when Devon had parted with her at the Ravenclaw staircase, refusing her offers to come into her room. He had said he was tired, beat and in no mood for fooling around, but when he had briefly hugged her goodnight she could feel the tell-tale bulge of his lies pressing against her stomach._

_So he had refused her and had opted instead for what? A good wank? Fine by her, but the issue she wasn't fine with was who he would be fantasying about when he indulged in some self love. Kinsey knew that she was being unreasonable, but she'd had dreams about Devon since second year, they were meant to be! She had to beat out so many other girls, had to chase a bunch more from his bed, and she had to lie through the skin of her teeth to get with him. Despite knowing he was a player and a jerk, Kinsey was convinced she could be the one to change him. And she was not going to let this little __**child**__ get in her way._

_Pansy was already getting her foot in prime kicking position when the tip of the older girl's wand was shoved against her sternum. _

"_You little whore. You think I'll lose to you? Well, watch this."_

_The next thing Pansy experienced was frightening, the wand was dragged down her torso and in it's wake she felt a sharp pain and in the dark, as her hand fumbled to push the wand away, she could feel a slick substance trail after the wand. She screamed when she saw the redness of it on her pale fingers when she was finally able to bring it to her eyes._

_Kinsey jumped at the pitch of Pansy's scream. She jerked away and dropped her wand in the dark closet, but at the moment she was too frightened of being caught to care. Wrenching the door open she ran out into the empty corridor, acutely aware of the sound of running footsteps coming from a ways away._

_Pansy was now in tears. She was scared and hurting. What had she done to deserve this? She wasn't a whore, she had done nothing! The sound of footsteps was welcome and as they got louder she tried her best to cover her chest as she earnestly looked up at her rescuer._

_Robert, Robbie Smitson was almost done with his rounds when he'd heard a scream. When he saw the closet door left ajar he slowed his steps and hesitantly approached it. Was he honestly supposed to deal with a lover's snog session gone wrong? There was a girl crying in the closet, that much was obvious, and what other reason could there be for a girl to be there if her boyfriend had not done something to upset her? _

_With a look up to the ceiling, Robbie cleared his throat and in his most neutral tone he called out to the girl, "What are you doing out past curfew?"_

_Pansy who had expected the Prefect to rush over to help her stared through the crack of the door and the doorframe at the boy who ran a hand tiredly through his hair as he reprimanded her. Had he not heard her scream?_

_With no response Robbie gave a sigh and he walked over towards the girl who he could hear sniffling in the closet. The first things he saw was a satchel full of books and a crumpled Charms essay. Next to it were the outer school robes and Robbie could clearly make out the green and silver emblem of the Slytherin House._

_Instantly he put up his guard and all annoyance he'd felt before tripled itself. Maybe it was the fact that his 4 month girlfriend had openly admitted to cheating on him with a Slytherin 2 years older than she; or it could be that he could all of a sudden feel the long healed bruise of the bludger that a Slytherin had delivered to his abdomen during a practice session; it could've been either of those or one from an ongoing list, but whatever it was Robbie had already decided that the Slytherin girl in that closet was no different from any of the others that had hurt him._

"_Look, please get yourself together and come with me. I have no choice but to report you for being past curfew. Honestly, if you're going to sneak out for a quickie then please have the decency to return to your dorms yourself. I thought Slytherins were good at that, sneaking and all."_

_The loathing was evident in his voice and Pansy bit on her lip to hold back the cry she wanted to let loose. Her chest hurt, she was cold and humiliated, and her rescuer was turning out to be just as bad as the two that had caused her to be here._

_Robbie was taken back when he finally reached the shivering and shaking girl. Why, she was…a first year! What was she doing? Were Slytherin girls becoming like this so soon?! But as he took a closer look Robbie saw that she was shivering from the cold and was shaking from fear. Fear of him. He saw the way she clutched her light cardigan and white shirt to herself and at the top of her neck he could see the start of a long scar that was oozing blood._

"_What happened? Are you alright? Who did this?"_

_Pansy saw the pity in his eyes and even at that age she did not want it and fought against it with the only weapon she had; indifference. She growled at him and glared as she pulled herself to her feet. In a manner as dignified as she could manage Pansy gathered her robes and put them on, after trying to pick up her book bag and failing, she opted instead to drag it behind her as she walked away, concentrating on keeping her hurt and fearful expression away and her head held high._

_Robbie watched her go, feeling insulted and worried. She was so young and so defiant as well! Not that he'd admit it, but had she been from any other house, one who he did not bear such a grudge against he would've chased after her and insisted on her visiting the Hospital Wing. But this was just another blow to him; he saw the back of this young girl as one more hurt and one more insult. And Robbie himself had moved on from all that. This was his last year, and with a start like this he would make sure to avoid all Slytherin contact._

That night had been horrible. Pansy remembered she'd tried her best to keep quiet as she tended to herself back in the comforts of her bed. But how shaken her hands were that night. From the moment she boarded the Hogwarts express she had had thought of pleasant memories, many new friends, a dream like crush on some cute upperclassman, smiles and laughs, new knowledge….she'd had so many high expectations for school.

But now reality had set in, nothing in the world could be perfect like that, especially school. The place that was to be her solace, a place where she could really belong had turned out to be even worse than her real home. Here her best friend had become more distant than ever, people she thought she could befriend turn their backs on her because of the colors she wore and the values she'd been taught.

As Pansy slowly drifted back she couldn't believe how naïve she'd been back then. Did she honestly believe in all that? How fickle she was. _How fickle you still are, still trying to hold on to Draco…he's gone, but you yourself won't admit that._

_f_

"So, if anyone wants to sign up to help with the decorations, there's a clipboard going around, just write your name and I'll find a time to that'll work for us all!"

Hermione Granger was standing on a low coffee table in the sitting room that had, again, been magicked to fit everyone. She was pointing at the clipboard that Ginny Weasley, who was standing below her on the right, was waving in the air.

Christmas was four days away and once it had been official that all the members wouldn't be able to return home safely to pass the holidays with their real families, Hermione, Ginny, and a few other woman members began to organize a Christmas party for all of them. The Christmas party that had started out small and simple escalated as they usually do. Now, sign up sheet were being passed around, arguments about dress code requirements were hourly, and everyone was silently stressing over the idea of gifts.

Pansy who found herself devoid of any holiday cheer was occupying a seat in the corner with a book in hand. Ever since she came back from the hospital the only company she bothered to keep was Blaise, books and surprisingly, Harry Potter. Those two had found a common ground; making fun of Blaise and complaining about Blaise. As for Blaise, their relationship was normal, perhaps a bit warm but they were still…them.

"We still a need a few people to pick out a tree and it would be nice if someone could be in charge of the menu for the upcoming event."

Pansy who'd been glancing around with boredom was somewhat surprised to see many others looking around idly. So she wasn't the only one who felt they were going overboard. With that thought and another glance at Granger who was still babbling about the table settings and napkins and candle colors she decided to cut in with a comment. But when she raised her voice to say something it was drowned out by a new wave of things to do.

Pansy sat there for a while trying to get in a word but after all that failed she sighed and stuck her hand up in the air, all the while not believing that she had to resort to hand raising to get attention. It was like being in school all over again and Granger of all people was the strict and monotonous professor.

Harry, who was standing behind Ginny, trying to keep up with her urgent whispers of "Hand me that paper, with the trees on it!" or "No, grab the blue pen, blue, not black!" had noticed Pansy raising her hand in the corner, as if waiting to be called on to say something.

He reached around Ginny and nudged Hermione, who had momentarily stopped to take a breath, and nodded in Pansy's direction, "I think she's volunteering…or asking for your permission to leave for the loo."

Hermione gave him a look that clearly said, _Stuff it_ but she did turn and say Pansy's name.

"Do you want to go out and pick a tree? Or maybe write up a menu?"

Pansy cleared her throat and with an indifferent tone said, "No, just wanna know if you'll let me out to use the bathroom. I've kinda got to pee." Her comment was followed by a sly wink to Harry who like most everyone started snickering at Pansy's question and also at Hermione's flushed face.

Remus and Tonks who had been cuddling in an armchair near her reached out for a high five, they two had thought that Hermione was being too much with the Christmas arrangements, and what better way to loosen her up by joking around. Not to mention that it was rare that one could dismount Hermione Granger in a way like that.

After a moment of silence in which the mood of the room lightened somewhat a harsh voice rose above the resumed chatter.

"You don't have to be here. And it would be nice if you'd help us out Pansy." Hermione had tried to disguise her contempt for the girl but when she had made a fool of all her hard work and gotten everyone to laugh at her stress; Hermione couldn't find it in her to keep the words back.

"Help with what Granger? Is there anything useful here for me to help with? Besides picking out napkin colors and cutting down a pine tree just for the sake of making your holidays?" Pansy had no reason to pick a fight with Hermione but she hadn't meant to be condescending, she only wanted her to lighten up.

When Hermione's mouth opened to defend herself it wasn't her voice that came out. It was Draco's. "She's trying to make _your_ holidays, and everyone else's, out of the kindness of her heart. So if you're not going to help don't ruin things for people. Come on Pansy, lighten up."

The room which was alive with chatter now died down to looks and glances as the flittered from Draco, who also stood, with arms over his chest, in a corner and Pansy, in the opposite corner. Blaise who'd been enjoying a round of poker with Bill Weasley (the one that was decent in his opinion) dropped his cards and started over to Pansy.

He was just approaching her when Pansy, with a stony look on her face, left her corner and made her way towards Draco. _The nerve of that boy. After not speaking to me for an entire week, not even to apologize, after giving me the cold shoulder, how dare he snap at me for trying to lighten the stress?_

Draco, who had studiously avoided Pansy ever since their argument in the hospital room found his heart and nerves racing as he watched her approach him. He'd felt so bad for the words he'd carelessly thrown at her, and even worse for not having the guts to approach her and admit his wrongness. But that was just how he handled things. With Hermione he could always count on her caving first, she wasn't really one for grudges, but Pansy was like him, she didn't forget a fight and she was never the first to admit mistakes.

When she was directly in front of him, Pansy's mind caught up with her and the look of anger passed, instead her face flushed and the hand she'd had ready to slap him with eased back to her side and she briskly walked passed him, avoiding eye contact and ignoring the looks she could feel on her back.

Before Draco could change his mind and lose his nerve he turned and followed Pansy out. He'd had enough of this nagging voice in his mind, this feeling of being wrong, it plagued him and it was turning this short period of peace into something unbearable.

The cold December air surrounded the garden and it felt good to breathe it in. As that air made its way into Pansy's lungs and body it seemed to also freeze her feelings, cooling her very soul as it made her start shivering.

She hadn't noticed Draco following her out because he'd unconsciously followed her every step, making it hard for her to pick up the sound of another person's footsteps, not that she would've picked it up, she'd been to busy berating herself and trying to come up with an idea on how to get out of this new dramatic mess she'd dug herself into.

When the sound of someone clearing their throat met her ears she was honestly surprised and it showed when she jumped out of the trance she'd fallen into.

When her eyes met Draco's she found them to be too much and looked away as quickly as possible. For some unknown reason that hurt Draco more than anything else that past week; what was going on? Why was Pansy like this? Blaise might think that he'd been the only who noticed Pansy's lack of appetite or her lack of life in general but that certainly wasn't' true.

Draco might have been giving her the cold shoulder but he'd spent a lot of time recently peeking into her life, trying to figure out if everything she'd said had been true. And it was. She was a shadow of her former self, it was like a black hole had been stationed right behind her and it was slowly sucking away the very essence that made her Pansy. She was just always withdrawn these days, one couldn't even call it moping because moping eventually stopped, this, whatever _this_ was wasn't stopping.

"Pansy. Look," Draco walked over to stand in front of her, to make sure that she could see that he meant every word he was about to say, "I'm sorry. For what I said just now, for what I said in the hospital, for letting you fade back and for anything else that might have been wrong. I…things are hard right now."

Pansy stared dutifully at the ground as his apology washed over her. _Are you sorry for making me like this? For not loving me? For not thinking me good enough? Can you fix me with a few words?_ But this was as close to feeling better and whole as she would get, so mustering up another bought of fake cheeriness she looked up and simply nodded at him with a small smile that was harder to hold up than anything she'd tried before.

"Apology accepted. But you still have to go out of your way for a super sweet Christmas gift, or I'll take that back."

Draco grinned and reached his arms around her for a hug, _this sweet girl, I don't deserve this, don't deserve her._ "Deal, whatever makes my Pans happy."

"Whatever? As in anything?" Pansy didn't know what she was doing, Draco with his strong arms around her, his scent swirling around her, this question seemed appropriate, but what was she going to say after he responded? She'd finally stumbled out of one hole only to land herself into another one.

She could feel his laugh as she listened to its sound, "Of course, I'll give you anything, what do you want?"

_You. Only you. Can you give me that? Please? I'd never ask for anything else? I'd die happy. Can I really have you? _She knew what the answer was. She'd known all along, but she'd accepted it hadn't she? Instead of voicing her one desire in this life she squeezed Draco one more time before pulling away and with another fake sparkle in her eyes she put on another show to keep him at ease, to keep his life simple.

"I'm sure you'll figure out what it is I want. Besides, I've always been partial to surprises. But it better be good." Protecting someone was hard, it could almost be a full time job, a job that demanded everything you had but gave back close to nothing. Every once in a while though, during a job, you have lucky day, and Draco's large, happy grin could count as one of those lucky days; so as Pansy basked in the warmth of his smile she kept up her own smile and fought the urge to run away and never come back.

It was Christmas Eve. 8:46 on Christmas Eve to be exact and she was down to 14 minutes to get ready for the party. She'd retreated to her room two hours ago, claiming she needed that time to get ready, accepting all the teasing and jokes the boys had thrown at her good naturedly. But once she'd gotten to her room Pansy just sat down on the bed, suddenly very nervous for tonight.

It might have been because she hadn't donned a dress and attended any formal event since the end of the year bash almost 7 years ago. Or it could've been because tonight was the gift exchange and she was antsy about giving Draco his gift, or, her mind was saying, it's because you don't want to be there tonight, where you have an inkling about what's going to happen.

Her memory back flashed and she went back approximately 27 hours ago. It was late and Pansy had just put down her book with the intention of turning in for the night when a noise outside her door caught her attention. Quietly she made her way to it and eased it open. The hall was still lit and since she'd already switched off her light, her door went unnoticed by the two people in the hallway.

Even in the dim lighting she could clearly make out Draco's hair and build. When she registered what was happening, a sharp pain ripped through her and tears welled up. With wide eyes she watched as he ravaged the girl in his arms, who was no other than Hermione Granger.

They were about three doors down and going at it. Draco had Hermione pinned against the wall and his mouth was currently on her throat, lavishing kisses there as his hands wandered her body. It had been 5 years since she saw any form of PDA between these two. After walking in on a sweet kiss between them back when they were getting ready to leave for one of their first long missions Pansy had promised to not let herself go through hat kind of torture anymore.

She was very aware that Draco was very _active_ with his girls; she used to be one herself. But the image, the mere possibility of that was too much for her, so ever since then she'd become, virtually a nun when it came to the physical part of love. She hadn't felt a single pang of arousal, or passion, of anything rather then a detached longing for someone since her last time with Draco, which had been violent and angry and had scarred her for life.

But as she watched them she felt the longing increase ten fold. Draco had been the only guy she'd ever bedded, despite the many rumors centered on her virtue back in school. He was her first and last and she'd unconsciously promised that that would be how things would stay.

As Draco began to trail kisses lower and his hands traveled higher Pansy's tears overflowed and she hastily shut her door with a loud snap that she wasn't even aware of. But that snap caught the attention of Draco. Surprisingly enough, even though he looked to be focused on one thing only, his mind was far from the girl he held in his arms. He and Hermione had actually just had a row, their 5th in one day and he was just pouring his anger and frustrations into passion; it had been working quite well when all of a sudden Pansy entered his mind.

Another mewing noise permeated his ears and the lusty fog that overtook his mind a few minutes ago cleared and his hands began to slow and his mouth stopped.

Hermione who had finally felt like her boyfriend was becoming normal again sighed and firmly pushed him away as she saw his head turn in the direction of Pansy's closed door. She'd actually caught the slight movement of the dark haired girl's door and had seen the tears in her eyes as she watched them. Hermione wasn't stupid, wasn't blind and wasn't fooled. She _knew _that Pansy felt more for Draco than she let on. Everyone but her boyfriend noticed, which was so weird because Draco picked up on the smallest things.

She'd always thought that Draco and her were meant to be though and since she didn't know how Draco stood on the matter of Pansy she'd never brought it up. At times, she'd felt a light tug on her conscience, one like now, where she watched the other girl slip back into the shadows, unnoticed by the only person she wanted to be noticed by.

Hermione was a girl though, and like all girls, she wanted whoever, whatever that was hers to remain so. She loved Draco and she didn't want him to doubt that he loved her too. But holding him at arms length like this and registering that he still had his head turned away from her was enough to override that little tug in her mind and enough to ignite a flame of possession and annoyance.

"Draco, what's wrong? What are you doing? Why'd you stop?" Hermione was frustrated; things had been like this for a few weeks now, around the time….the time Pansy fainted. She let go of her boyfriend and brought her hands up to her mouth, covering it in horror. How could she not have noticed?

"I can't believe you!" Hermione cried out, completely outraged at herself for not catching it till now and beyond pissed that Draco could be doing this to her.

Draco turned back to Hermione and all of a sudden looked really weary, what was she going to accuse him of now? "Hermione, calm down, nothing's wrong, it's just late and I'm tired."

"That is not it and you know it. You want HER! Don't you? You have since you got back! I can't believe this. Am I not enough?"

Draco couldn't believe his ears,"What are you shouting about?"

"You want that whore!" she was beyond thinking rationally now.

"What whore? Who are you calling a whore?"

"Don't pretend Malfoy, I can see through you, you want your so call best friend and you thought you could fool me?"

"Blaise? I am NOT gay, if you haven't noticed by now." Draco actually was catching on to what she was accusing him of, but he couldn't believe that she was actually saying it. Pansy and him? _Wait, Pansy….a whore?_

Before Hermione point out the obvious and yell at him some more for being dense Draco's arm shot out and trapped her against the wall.

His voice which had been just annoyed and somewhat tired changed. He was mad now, "Don't you call her a whore. She has enough shit going on without you calling her untrue things behind her back. Leave Pansy out of our problems, Hermione or I'll have to do something I might regret."

Draco had vowed to never hurt Pansy and Blaise again, he was going to be a true friend to them and a true friend didn't let anyone talk shit behind their backs.

Now it was Hermione's turn to be pissed. "What the hell are you saying Draco? Do you remember the countless times you insulted Ron and Harry to my face? All those times you called them "untrue" things behind their backs? And what did I say wrong? She _is_ a whore and you know it!"

With narrowed eyes Draco's other arm shot out to hold Hermione in place, "Don't you _dare_ call her that! You have no idea what you're talking about Granger. And why is Weasley always a part of everything concerning us these days?"

"He's my best friend Draco!"

"Yes, but why do I feel that being involved with you also means being involved with him? It's always Ron _this, _Ron _that_…"

"Maybe it's because I'm sick of hearing you _Pansy_ this and _Pansy_ that lately!"

"Quit bringing Pansy into this! God Granger!"

"I'm not at fault here. Just talk to me Draco, what's wrong?"

"Why are you always insisting that I tell you everything?"

"Isn't that what a relationship with a significant other is for?!"

"No. You're there to support me, not pester me and bug the hell out of me and tell me how to run my life!"

"Well, excuse me then! Allow me to leave you alone so you can go back to pining for that whore of yours!"

"Is that what this is about? You're scared and jealous that I want Pansy?"

"Don't you?"

-silence-

"Draco…." Hermione's voice, which had been raised and high, now dropped to a whisper. Her arms which had been clenched into tight fists at her side slackened and she quickly reached them up to push him away but before she could Draco turned his grey eyes and in turn, asked her a question that gave caused a stricken look to pass across her face.

"What about you Hermione? Do you really want _me_? Or is it Weasley, the one who you obviously still have feelings for? Did you think I had no idea what happened a week ago?"

Pansy didn't know what happened after that but from the way Draco and Hermione acted the entire day today showed that they hadn't made up…yet?

That's what she was dreading. As of that morning the requirements for this party were posted and for the sake of all the time Hermione, Ginny, Molly and Fleur put into arguing about all of it everyone had agreed to follow all their rules down to the last detail.

The dress code had been decided and the verdict was; it must be formal wear. And at the last minute, after much dispute it was also announced that everyone should attend the party in pairs, in other words, you had to have a date. That itself was easy, all it took was a short glance at Blaise for Pansy to gather that she had a partner and wouldn't end up going stag. But that's what made her more uneasy about the almost unavoidable (or so she thought it was) reunion of Granger and...Draco. After all they must be each other's date, right?

With 13 minutes left on the clock Pansy stood up and began to act fast. She slipped on her dress and quickly turned to look in the mirror to apply her light make-up, a tad of liner, mascara, and a touch of gloss before she swept her hair up into a high ponytail. The pair of black 4-inch heels sat ready by her closet and after sliding her feet into those she was ready, with still 2 minutes to go.

She felt a bit wobbly in her heels; it had been so long since she'd worn anything with a heel more than an inch high of the ground. Back then she was always in heels to make up for the height that she wasn't born with, _it really has been too long _were her thoughts as she took in her reflection.

A moment passed as Pansy looked at herself but before she could process the critical thoughts that were forming a light knock at the door made her turn around and the thoughts stayed unfinished.

Blaise Zabini stood with one hand behind his back and another extended out to her as she opened the door and for a second she could only look at him with wide eyes and a surprised smile.

Blaise stood in an elegant black tux with a silver inner vest and matching silver tie. His smirk, which displayed most of his white teeth stood out against his dark skin and all in all, it was a striking image. _At least I'll look somewhat decent on his arm…._

"Mi lady, I have to thank thee again for allowing me the pleasure of accompanying you." Blaise's deep voice coupled with a fake medieval accent made Pansy giggle.

Laying a hand on his extended one she dropped a curtsy and replied in the same manner, "Oh kind sir, chivalry isn't dead after all and I'm ever so grateful for your company."

As a contented smile made its way onto her face Blaise finally allowed himself to look her over. The reason Blaise found himself falling for her so long ago was because of the simple way she looked. She wasn't beautiful in a striking way, she was beautiful in a –I've-been-your-best-friend-all-your-life way; I guess one could say, she slowly grew beautiful in his eyes.

He'd always carried around a moment in which Pansy had looked her best, or so he was sure, but when the door opened and out popped Pansy it took everything he had to not give away that he was absolutely floored by the way she looked. This by far, topped everything.

Her dress was elegant but hinted at naughtiness. It was a high collared halter, blue satin with a design of black lace over it. It was meant to be knee length but on Pansy's build it went past her knees and to the top of her ribboned heels. The simple high ponytail seemed to top it off but really, the look was made complete with Pansy's bright eyes and happy grin.

Deciding that he had all night to ogle at her Blaise reached his other hand out and pulled the corsage of light baby blue rose buds tied with silver ribbon.

"How'd you know the color of my dress?" Pansy asked curiously as she helped him fasten it onto her right wrist.

"I didn't. The roses change color as soon as they know their wearer's dress. They were white before. Hey, but guess what? That silver ribbon? I actually tied that! Me and Potter had gone out and bought the wrong type of box corsages, so we spent an hour and a half tying those blasted devils into that spectacular bow you're looking at right now."

"Huh. No wonder I thought it looked askew when you took it out." Pansy laughed when Blaise frowned and eyed the perfect silver bow on her hand.

"I knew something must have been off….."

"I'm kidding you frivolous man. It's wonderful. Perfect. Magnificent. Calm yourself down."

Blaise put a hand up to rub the back of his head, his habit for when he was embarrassed but Pansy took hold of that hand and once she gave it a light tug he grinned reluctantly, "Alright, so I'm frivolous, sue me. Now are you ready?"

"Uh huh, let's go party huh? We used to be real good at that," commented Pansy.

Blaise looked at her and a smile pulled at his lips.

This, for all those curious, was the beginning of everything. Or the end. Or both. The end of unrequited love and the beginning of a something more.

A shared laugh. A locked gaze. A hesitant smile and a sly wink.

And behind them a surprised and bewildered gaze that went unnoticed.

"_What's going on between them?" _was Draco Malfoy's question as he stood looking at his two friends' backs with the most peculiar feeling, one he couldn't name, but had anyone been able to take a look at his face, they'd have said without a moment of hesitation; he's _jealous._

**Well, I won't make any false promises about the next chapter and when it'll be up, but I won't abandon this, it might be slow, but if you like it, please stick with it. That's all, Happy Memorial Day to all! **

**P.S-And sorry for any typos, I've tried to weed them out, but my eyes are wacko from looking at the screen for so long. If you catch any, please, point them out.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Here it is, First day after the end of school and I'm finally posting. It's been done but I haven't had time to re-read and such. Hope you guys can stand reading about a Christmas party when it's about 85 degrees outside!**

* * *

The party was in full swing, with soft music in the background and drinks being passed all around. Blaise and Pansy had made their way around, wishing a Happy Holidays to everyone and had accepted drink after drink; toast after toast of well wishes, so many that Pansy was actually unsteady on her feet and could feel a slight tingle in her mind.

As soon as she and Blaise had descended from the staircase her eyes had searched for the pale blond head that should be next to the mass of wild curls but when she couldn't spot it Pansy had felt a slight thrill at that fact and a ridiculous hope built up inside her, putting her in a great mood to go around.

Blaise was astounded at Pansy's good cheer and couldn't help but pick up it himself as he allowed himself to be toted around. _Honestly, men are nothing but another good looking accessory on a women's arm at events like these…._but he wasn't complaining. He had already looked around with the smug feeling that Pansy and he made quite a pair, outshining many couples and that fact added to his cheer. He'd go as far as to say that Pansy was probably one of the most beautiful girls here tonight, of course, every guy would think his date was the best looking, but to Blaise's trained eyes, Pansy was looking her best tonight.

That thought registered another one in his mind and like Pansy had done in the beginning (without him noticing) he also glanced around the room for a certain person as the arm he had on the small of Pansy's back tightened a smidgeon. He saw Hermione's head of curls and sourly acknowledged that she too was looking _nice_ tonight, her red silky dress left little to the imagination but in another way it was modest and elegant. Surprisingly enough though, around her waist was no pale arm, next to her was no one, and there was no pale blond head, bent to her neck, burying itself in her hair, in other words, Draco was no where near Hermione, in fact, as Blaise gave the room another once over, Draco seemed to be completely AWOL from the party.

"Your dress looks amazing! And Blaise's silver compliments it perfectly! Where did you get it? I'm so jealous!"

Pansy's laugh sounded out again, the sound of it drew Blaise back as Pansy sunk into him more, tilting her head back a bit to share her smile with him. "I'm sorry, you must have heard my dress story so many times now, do you want to tell it?"

He rolled his eyes and turned to one of the Padma twins, Parvati, who was wearing a pretty sappy look, and recited what he'd heard Pansy say at least a dozen times now, "It was an old lace dress that belonged to her mother, one that she found in the depths of her closet and she added the blue satin underneath it just a few days ago since she wasn't able to go out to but another one." Blaise would never understand that question of "where did you get that?" Wasn't it near illegal to go out and buy the same looking dress that some other girl was wearing at some party? Weren't women all about individuality? And weren't all the "oohs" and "ahhs" about dresses and hair and make-up supposed to stop after an hour into the party?

_You'd think they run out of ways to say "you look nice" after saying differently to more than a 2 dozen people_ but Pansy hadn't yet and after her laugh at Blaise's verbatim spiel about her dress she delivered, yet another, line about how dazzling Parvati looked tonight. _Good Lord_ thought Blaise good naturedly, he actually didn't mind all too much, he found it amusing and entertaining. Dean, standing at Parvati's side seemed to pick up on Blaise's thoughts and he gave him a crooked grin and rolled his eyes to which Blaise responded with his own smirk and eye roll.

Dean then lifted his glass of golden champagne and took advantage of Parvati's pause for a breath and wished them a Merry Christmas. The clink of glasses followed and as Blaise too another sip of his glass he was surprised to see Pansy finishing her 5th one, downing all of its contents yet again. _She probably shouldn't drink so much…._were his thought before a large commotion broke out near the middle of the room.

* * *

After Blaise and Pansy had rounded the corner and began going down the stairs Draco found his temper rising and rising until his fists were clenched and the urge to hurt something, or _someone_ was overwhelming. He was astonished at the way he was responding to the image of Blaise and Pansy together, hadn't he been behind that idea every since he caught Blaise spacing off while staring at Pansy back before the end of their Hogwarts days?

He leaned heavily against the wall and tried to make sense of his irrational response, he knew he didn't think of Pansy that way, she was just a dear friend to him, a younger sister, someone closer to him than his whole family, besides he had Hermione…he didn't want Pansy…but then Hermione's words came back and stared him right in the eye, _"You want your best friend!...You're pining for her!..."_ but he wasn't.

_Why did you feel that way then? Why couldn't you take your eyes off her when she stepped out? Why did you want to hurt Blaise because he looked at her that way? Why is it that you don't feel tortured because you're not at Hermione's side right now?_ His mind unconsciously answered that question and the locked up image of Hermione and Ronald Weasley standing so close to each other that air flow between their bodies would've been impossible came up and danced around in his vision.

But that image didn't make him as upset as the one he'd saw only moments ago, Blaise and Pansy, Pansy and Blaise, them laughing in the hallways, them always together…

But why would seeing them make him feel betrayed and bewildered? He'd been hoping for all this…_Man, I need to get down there and get some alcohol in me, this is driving me nut._ And still in the most baffled mindset Draco started down the hallway, heading towards the party

* * *

His late entrance went unnoticed by most everyone but from the instant he came into sight of the partygoers he instantly felt a pair of eyes attach themselves to him. Without having to focus much he steeled himself and turned slightly to the right to lock gazes with Hermione. They'd been together so long that they were almost perfectly attuned to each other, despite the recent rockiness a part of him was still convinced that they could overcome everything; ….the foolishness of first love.

How many times had their gazes locked over the years they'd been together? Yet, no matter how many times there was always a sizzle of passion, or completeness that flowed between them, but this time, there was nothing there, it was like their long time flame had been blown out and only the frustrated feelings that they felt were exchanged in that gaze.

Draco didn't let it faze him though and with steely determination he made his way over to Hermione. He was halfway across the room when he felt another pair of eyes that was just as familiar on him. Over time, the war and such had made the feeling of being looked at a real distinguished feeling but since Draco had long ago mastered the talent of noticing the smallest of things he'd been able to pick up on the different ways in which people looked at each other.

He turned and searched momentarily though the sea of well dressed people to catch and hold a certain girl's blue-eyed gaze.

* * *

Pansy's little tingling feeling had relaxed her quite a bit and at Blaise's insistence she had listened and sat down in a relatively quiet corner to wait for him as he went to get her something to eat, "_Drinking so much on an empty stomach is stupid, you should know from all your experience, huh?"_ were his parting words as he loped off towards the kitchen.

Pansy had been a good girl and had sat still for exactly a minute and a half. Then she had bounded up and gone in search for another glass of champagne to make the tingling she had into a nice buzz feeling that she all of a sudden really craved. It had just been so long since she'd felt so light! While bounding along she nearly crashed to the ground because of her heels and so she sat down to do the only sensible thing, she pulled the four inch heels off and tossed them onto the empty armchair before happily continuing on.

When Pansy had acquired another glass of sparking golden goodness she made her way along the edges of the room back to the spot where Blaise had told her to wait at. As she did though a platinum blond head moved past her on her right and she paused momentarily, a bit puzzled why the sight made her pause. Turning her head and letting her eyes run along the form of Draco she felt a bold thrill run along her spine and a long lost playful glint touched up on her eyes and when he turned to meet her gaze she bounded towards him with a breathless "Draco!"

Draco forgot all about his intentions of going over and solving his issue with Hermione when Pansy called his name and made her way over to him in a most un-Pansy like way. She was literally bouncing on the balls of her feet and he couldn't remember her looking this bright and cheerful since ….forever. As she navigated her way through the crowd, albeit a tad shaky on her feet, Draco noticed the glass of champagne sloshing around in her hand, it was almost empty and Draco worriedly moved towards her, wondering how many of those she'd consumed for her to be so out of character.

When he was by her side she looked up and the sight of her slightly tousled hair, pink cheeks, and that damned sparkle in her eyes made Draco feel funnier than ever. He didn't let it show though and responded to her bright, giddy smile with one of his own.

"What're you up to, you silly girl?""

"Nothing! I'm just having fun, are you having fun? It's almost Christmas Draco, have you got my gift?"

"Of course, I'll have you know that it's gonna be the best gift ever."

Pansy let out a girly squeal and giggled while Draco stood there trying to come to grips with this Pansy. She'd obviously had way too much to drink because Pansy would never in a million years act like this unless her alcohol level had been dramatically increased. In a way he was glad to see her so childish and loose since it was such a drastic change to her usual attitude but it worried him to think of how much she'd really had to drink to make her this way.

"Here Pansy, why don't you give me this before you spill it on your pretty dress?" said Draco as he reached out for the champagne glass still in her hand. Pansy released it's hold immediately, not even real aware of what she was doing because Draco was close to her and he had just called her dress pretty. She felt like flying.

With flushed cheeks she smiled at him with a boldness that had so long been dormant it was hard to identify, but there none the less, she playfully declared, "So you think my dress is pretty, huh? But I make it look even better, right?"

Draco, whose mind had been focused on the glass of champagne that had clearly been spiked with something much, much stronger, due to the smell of it, was completely taken by surprise with Pansy's question; was she playing him right now?

It was at this moment that Blaise came over with a plate piled high with food and slipped his unoccupied arm around Pansy's waist, tugging Pansy a step back and locking Draco with a look of distrust and wariness.

"Blaise! I didn't mean to move from…Oh! You brought food!" With that her explanation was cut short and her attention zeroed in on the plate in Blaise's hand. Blaise turned in surprise at Pansy's tone and the way she was acting and for a moment he was almost happy at it but then the smell of Firewhisky on her breath made him cringe back and that was when the glass in Draco's hand came into focus.

"Did you give her more? Are you crazy?" were his outraged words.

Draco assessed the situation and quickly put his hands up in his defense, "Hey, I took this from her, I wasn't giving her more, believe me, you're not the only that picked up her complete 180 turn in attitude. It's obvious she's out of it."

Blaise didn't respond and instead turned to Pansy, "Hey, you wanna go sit down to eat? It's tough trying to balance you and the plate."

Pansy looked up at him in the middle of a bite of the shrimp in her hands and gave him a confused, "Huh?"

It was a bit too much and despite his sudden sour mood and with Draco only a few feet away Blaise let out a laugh. Pansy's brows puckered and bottom lip pouted out a little bit as she gave Blaise a look that said, "_Why in the world are you laughing at me?"_

Draco, like Blaise, found Pansy to be real funny at the moment but under his mirth something completely opposite of it sizzled and Draco couldn't help but step up towards Pansy to take her hands into his to playfully twirl her into him. Pansy laughed and went along with it with another of her bright out-of-it smiles but it still felt comforting to him to see that she moved away from Blaise's side so quick and willingly.

Blaise was caught off guard by Draco's actions and more so by the way he smiled while twirling an oblivious Pansy into his waiting arms. _What the hell? Did God finally grow a conscience? This must not be Draco Fucking Malfoy, so who the hell is he?_ While Blaise pondered over this Pansy's senses started to swim around her, making her much more aware of the situation she was now in. Draco was twirling her, he was pulling her into him, he was holding her hands, and he was smiling _directly_ at her. Had she died and gone to Heaven? Was the past 7 years a figment of her imaginations? A long nightmare that she'd finally been able to escape from?

* * *

Hermione could only narrow her eyes in anger to stem the rush of tears she felt in building up in her as she watched Draco smile happily at Pansy Parkinson as he veered away from her. When she had seen the way in which he was striding towards her, she was sure that they'd be able to solve their weird issues as of late, he'd looked so good, in his black dress pants and a crisp black dress shirt and a loose white tie; he was the constant in her life, her rock, her love, her everything, and watching him part the crowds to come to her was such a lovely and meaningful sight, that is until he changed directions and ended up moving away from her. And all because of the conniving, dark haired whore.

It was ridiculous that she felt this way, what did Parkinson have on her? How many times had Draco said he loved her with his whole heart and soul? That she was his perfect girl? Why would she doubt him now? Draco had to have friends, and Pansy was one of his oldest friends, they'd been close since they were young kids, he'd told her that many, many times.

Hermione Granger believed herself to be a rational girl, one that could looks at both sides of a coin, but how can one look at both sides when you don't know how many sides you're dealing with? Was she looking at a coin, with a heads and a tail? A light and a dark area, or was this whole situation more like a die? With 7 sides, many that she'd never seen before?

As she continued to watch Draco, talking and smiling at _her_ Hermione tried to remind herself that Parkinson was someone that deserved her Draco's comfort once in a while, she was a girl worthy of sympathy because of who she was and because of the trials in her life, it must be really hard to be in love with one of your best friends and have him not notice at all, such a clichéd story but one that was meaningful non the less. _Breath Hermione, she's just a friend to him, just a poor girl who cares to much for the wrong guy, just a WHORE! _

As she watched Pansy twirl gracefully and smoothly into Draco's arms Hermione found no room in her to feel anything other than a strong dislike towards the other girl. Aside from that Hermione also couldn't believe that Draco was doing this, what business did he have to take Parkinson into his embrace like that? _What the hell is going on?!_

* * *

Draco was surprised to have Pansy melt completely into his hold, leaning her back all the way against his chest and to bring her arms up to rest on top of his, which were circling her waist. It was an intimate stance but Draco didn't pull away because admittedly, he liked it too much.

"Comfy?" He whispered in her ear. _You better calm yourself down, what are you doing? There's a room full of people you dumb-ass…_ but the little voice in his mind went unnoticed and when Pansy tilted her head a little to smile at him and nod her head, before placing it back under his chin the voice vanished completely, or Draco tuned it out completely.

Blaise by now had shaken off his questions at why this was and was just accepting it because he couldn't be selfish enough to do anything to make Pansy's happy and content face off. Even though he told himself that it would be best to do so because he had a feeling this wouldn't last, heck, they lived in real life, not a fairy tale. But he couldn't bear to do it.

"I'm going to go set this down, I'll come back for her in a bit, and why don't you take her out for a dance? Only God knows how many times she's already bugged me about it…."

Draco was drawn back to his surroundings with a jolt of shock, he could only answer Blaise with a wide-eyed, absent minded, "Sure. Yeah, I'll do that."

Blaise nodded, "Alright, See ya."

"Are we gonna dance now? Please, Draco?" came Pansy's excited question.

Draco turned her so she was facing him and smiled at her excitement, "Course, come on Pans, show me what ya got…or have you lost it all?"

Pansy's narrowed eyes and the minute pout her lip sent Draco chucking as they made their way over to the dance floor, only to find it crowded and all the occupants of it staring at two people in the center, who seemed to be doing something that was real attention grabbing. Draco had caught a glimpse of red hair and figured it must have been one of the twins, probably dirty dancing to ease some of the tension around the room.

So without further ado Draco bowed to a giggling Pansy and offered her his hand, which she accepted with another smile and the two of them came together like the had done many times in the past. _It's been so long since we've danced, not since Christmas of 7__th__ year_ thought Draco, had he honestly been such a small part of Pansy's life since then? As he looked down at her face, which was happily looking up at his he felt his smile falter as guilt set in again, could she forgive him so soon and so easily?

Normally, under other circumstances, Pansy would've asked Draco about why he was looking down and sad while they were dancing but she hardly noticed it, she was lost in his eyes, which were such a beautiful gray and so deep and swirly that she was slowly losing herself.

She was vaguely aware of a small pull in her head, telling her to pull away, run to Blaise and pretend that the past 24 hours hadn't happened, but this was drowned out by a pleasant pounding in her head, it shut most everything out and it heightened her sense of touch or maybe that was just due to Draco's nearness….

"Draco? Are you having fun?"

"Yup, most fun I've had in a while, actually."

"That's good. It's been so long since we've danced, I was afraid you didn't like to anymore."

"It has been too long, hasn't it?"

Pansy nodded and let her head fall to Draco's shoulder and they continued to move to the music. The slow song ended all too soon and a blast of funky hip hop started up, making Pansy jump a bit. Draco laughed at her response and started to lead her away from the dance floor, not sure if she could handle the beats that were so loud the floor seemed to vibrate every time the bass played. But Pansy was having none of it. Her boldness came back like a tidal wave and she danced out of Draco's hold, reaching back to take a hold of his white tie, tugging him back onto the floor.

As Draco stumbled along with her in surprise he was met with some short laughter from some of the older people leaving the dance floor, not wanting to be caught up in the more modern dancing of the younger ones in the Order. Draco's normally pale cheeks flushed pink as he realized the image he and Pansy were making. Remus Lupin, loosened from his drinks and in a jolly mood chuckled loudly and said "You show him Parkinson!" as he swept an arm around Tonks and the two laughed happily.

Pansy grinned back and once she reached the edge of the hardwood area that constituted for their makeshift dance floor she began to dance around Draco in a way that had him fighting with all his strength to stay calm. Back in school Pansy had always been a provocative dancer, that's why her reputation wasn't all to clean, but the way she was moving now was innocent but it seemed even more suggestive than all the dips and shimmers she'd done back then.

She looked like a young child allowed to stay up late for the first time, twirling around being lost in the beats that seemed to pulse through her, her eyes were locked on his and though they were a bit foggy and sleepy looking, there was a glint that suggested that she was opposite of that.

All around them other couples were moving up against each other, lost in their own world and Draco felt real out of sorts, standing there with his hands fisted in his pant pockets, watching a girl dance around him but not reaching out to her. But then that feeling lifted and Draco could care less about what was happening around him and his hands loosened. He drew them out to cross them over his chest, about to settle back and just watch Pansy but that was when a strand of Pansy's dark hair escaped her now loose ponytail and it swept across her face as she twirled.

His hand instinctively reached out for it when a flash of red from the corner of his eye made him turn away.

* * *

The crowd had slowly turned to face the center of the floor again, where a couple had taken their attention and through a small gap between two people Draco saw who that flash of red was.

Ron Weasley was trying to sum up the courage to go over and ask Hermione for a dance, he had noticed Draco's absence from the beginning and he keep on berating himself for not going over and taking advantage of it. He had turned away and was making his way to the punch bowl when Hermione appeared by his side. In her red dress and heels she was a vision to him. All at once he was hit again by the feeling that he'd recently started feeling again. That insane crush he had for her ever since they met was returning, so much stronger than it was before.

"Ron."

He gulped, "Hermione. How're you? You look wonderful."

She smiled and his heart pounded, "Thanks, you look great too."

_Now, Say it now._ "Ah, look, do you want to, um, do you…."

"Do you want to dance with me Ron? Maybe just one dance?"

_Merlin, what happened to your balls Ron? You let the girl do the asking. _"Of course, you know, you took the words right out of my mouth…"

"I know, seemed like you were having a hard time though."

She laughed and laid an arm on his and for a moment things seemed to be perfect in his world.

* * *

As Hermione moved into Ron's arms her thoughts of revenge melted away as she looked up at his face; it was so clam and happy, like there was no place he'd rather be than right here with her.

_No. I don't think that. This is just to get Draco back. An eye for an eye, if he wants to play, I can too._ But her intentions were lost to her as the music continued and bar by bar the room began to fade away.

It wouldn't be until later that Hermione realized her intentions had worked only too well.

* * *

It didn't make sense at first. Draco had no idea what he was looking at until the room all of a sudden lurched back around him. He was only vaguely away of the small hand on his arm, tugging at him, trying to get his attention.

But he couldn't turn away from the sight before him. Hermione, his Hermione with a leg wrapped up around the waist of a Ron Weasley. The two of them grinding together as the music pounded its last few beats. When it ended another song started up but the two in the center fell apart but still stayed fused together, that is until Hermione caught a glimpse of Draco standing with his eyes riveted on her.

She took a shuddering step away from Ron but ended up back in his arms because she had stumbled and he'd caught her.

"No. Let me go Ron. Let me go." Were her rushed words, but Ron hardly heard them, his heart was still pounding, the adrenaline from his and Hermione's last dance was still coursing through his veins, what was it she just said?

"Ron! Let me GO!" Her scream broke through to him like a bullet and his arms drew back from her like she was a rose with thorns everywhere.

Her sudden freedom surprised Hermione so fast that she fell hard to the ground. Her knees hit the hard wood floor painfully but she hardly felt it. After catching her breath for a moment she looked up to see Draco stalking away and with a voice hoarse with emotion she called after him, "Draco! Stop, wait!"

Ron looked behind him to see what Hermione was yelling after and the sight of Malfoy stomping away with Parkinson still attached at his side sent a shiver or delight running down his spine. But once he turned and caught the look of regret on Hermione's face his world condensed and crashed.

"Hermione," her eyes flickered up to him and the regret there intensified, it hurt him and it angered him like no other, so with tears in his eyes he glared at her and promptly turned on his heel, not even stopping when a choked sob escaped her. Enough was enough. He'd just been used as a distraction from whatever it was she needed distracting from, he wasn't going to put up with that. Not when he'd so foolishly thought that her actions were something else.

* * *

Pansy was bewildered, Draco was stomping away and with her arm still around his from all the tugging she'd been doing earlier to get his attention she ended up tripping and stumbling along after him, despite her "waits" and "please hold on". Even after her moan of pain when Draco treaded on a few of her bare toes, Draco showed no sign of slowing down, he didn't even seem aware of her presence trailing in his wake. It was Blaise's familiar grasp that finally made her steady on her feet again.

"Hey! What are you doing? Can't you see she was about to fall?" Blaise pulled Pansy away from Draco and settle her behind him. She clutched onto his hand and shied away into his back. He worriedly glanced back at her, "Are you alright?"

She looked up at him and only nodded a bit before burying her head back into his back. Blaise looked her over with care and with a gasp he whirled around to face Draco again.

"You asshole! Look at what you did to her foot!" He pointed down to Pansy's left foot where three of her toes were bleeding. "What the hell Malfoy!"

A quiet "I'm fine" followed by "Don't say that word Blaise" from behind him only made him angrier but Draco didn't seem to hear it, nor did it look like her heard what Blaise had yelled either. His gray eyes were glazed over and they sizzled with an anger that threatened to overflow at any given moment. So it wasn't surprising when Draco turned and continued on his warpath.

* * *

The buzz Pansy had been thankful for was now much more than that. Her vision blurred and all of her senses were swirled and she had a drunken grin on her face. There was also a throbbing sensation in her head, one that was pleasant at the moment but would surely threaten to tear her head apart the next morning. She didn't care though; she actually didn't even register that fact. Because at the moment, nothing mattered. Nothing.

Pansy giggled and stumbled into Blaise, yet again. He looked down at her, at the beginning of the night she had been only an 2 inches shorter than him, thanks to her 4 inch heels, but after a series of drinks she'd shed those and had taken to wandering around in her bare feet. After Draco had stomped out on them she had insisted on more drinks and because he wanted her to forget everything he'd allowed her to. Once all the alcohol she'd consumed had sunk in, she was converted into a mindless girl of 16 years, getting drunk for the first time, wanting only to dance and prance around. She'd been quite a handful, but now she was worn out, so he had decided to take her out to the garden area and try to get her to slip into a light sleep, so he'd have less trouble in escorting her back to her room.

But when Pansy had heard the soft music flowing out through the door, she had insisted on dancing some more. This meant twirling around until she ran out of energy, which was the stage she was at. At the moment she had her arms loosely around his neck, and was gently moving side to side while resting her head on his shoulder. Every now and then she would giggle and mumble nonsense before she resumed swaying in Blaise's arms.

Blaise sighed and strengthened his hold around her slim waist. The weight she'd lost a month ago still hadn't been made up, despite his best efforts at making her eat. The food she took in seemed to disappear as soon as it went down her throat.

_What a fucking arse. I'm gonna kill him._ Blaise, like most everyone had seen the entire scene earlier. He understood Draco's anger and confusion but he felt that it could've been handled better. And poor Pansy, thank God she'd been pretty out of it earlier.

He sighed and rather than succumbing himself to the worry he felt, he focused on Pansy's current state of mind. She had once been great at holding her alcohol, thanks to the constant parties in the Slytherin common room, where their motto had been, it ain't a party without the drinks. But he doubted she'd had more than a glass or two since graduating. The times they were living in now weren't those that called for a party every night.

"Nothing, nothing…..nothing" Blaise bent his head towards Pansy's, trying to catch the end of her near incoherent mumblings. He pulled his head sharply back as she let out another unexpected school-girl giggle. _Merlin's balls, I've gotta remember to never let her near that much alcohol ever again._

"Zabini?" The dark boy turned around to see someone basked in the dim light from inside with a hand cocked at her waist. As his eyes focused more clearly, he could make out waves of curly hair, so without having to look any further he replied.

"Granger." She strode toward him determinedly, her heels clacking loudly on the concrete of the garden path. "Try to keep it down, I just got her to calm down." He added, gesturing at the still smiling Pansy that was wrapped up around him.

She heard him alright, but she did nothing to quiet her steps. Her eyes narrowed as they flickered to the girl that leaned against him and in her normal bossy voice demanded, "Tell me where Draco went."

Blaise rolled his eyes skyward before looking back at the brunette before him. _She recovers pretty fast, _were his thoughts, since the last time he saw her she had been in a heap on the dance floor.

"Do I look like his secretary? If so, then please leave a message for Mr. Malfoy and I'll have the message delivered. Good Day." He hoped she drowned in all the sarcasm he put into that. Instead Granger's eyes turned into slits as she took another step toward him. _Was she trying to be intimidating? She kinda sucks at it…_

"I'm serious. He left without a word, and you and _her_ are the only ones he's talked to all night. Now tell me, where is Draco?"

"Huh, the leash you left him on must have given way; I'd say 'bout time. Or maybe it snapped when you and Weasley were dry-humping each other on the dance floor."

Granger's eyes got wide and her face turned a shade of red, except it ended up looking a bit purple in the dim light. "Did…Did Draco see that? Oh God, I…I told….Ron was….." she broke off there and opted instead to chew on her bottom lip, an action that drove Draco mad for her, but made Blaise feel a rise of irritation like no other.

His arms tightened around Pansy whose smile he felt, had slipped away as she took in the conversation. He hoped her drunken state would leave these details out the next morning. "Move out of the way, Granger. It's your own damn fault. Go find your lover and quit the all-mighty act. It's sickening for those who have to put up with it." With that and a sneer that he meant with all his heart, Blaise half dragged, half carried Pansy away.

When they reached inside, Pansy started to pull herself away from him and he let her. He watched her grab the dining table's edge and she took small, careful steps towards the staircase some 10 yards away. Halfway there she stopped for a second and her voice was quiet and resigned as she did her best to sound normal. "Will you help me the rest of the way?"

He was at her side again in seconds. Blaise slipped a strong arm around her and without a word patiently helped her up to her room on the second story. Once they reached her room, Pansy hardly gave Blaise a glance before she began to strip down to her under-things. His eyes traveled the length of her body as the divine dress slipped down to the floor. He heard himself inhale loudly once she stood completely vulnerable to him. Her ribs were visible without anything to cover them, and she looked even more broken now then when she was sick.

Her giggles wrenched his eyes back to her face. "I'm not pretty anymore, right? She's more prettier than me, huh? Even you, my best friend thinks so."

A moment of silence passed as Blaise tried to think of something to say to make her feel better. But he couldn't get anything past his lips. Pansy turned around to look out her window, wrapping her thin arms around her to try to block the chill even he was feeling, and he was fully dressed.

He picked up the robe that sat folded on her bed and made a move to wrap it around her when he felt a shadow pass over him. He turned around and standing in the doorway, looking shocked and bewildered was the reason that Pansy was like this. Draco's hair was mussed and his face held signs of weariness, but at the moment he looked like someone had hit him the stomach. _Yah. Get a good look. You've never seen what you've turned her into, well, this is all thanks to you, you mother-fucker._

Another giggle made Blaise look away from Draco and back to Pansy, who was now saying something else.

"You know what Blaise? I remember a night like this. Dark with no stars in the sky. Back in 7thear, when I accidentally fell asleep in the common room, and woke up to find myself alone, I went all the way to the astronomy tower, without getting caught of course, and opened one of the windows, and I stood there looking out at the blackness. It was so cold that night, more than this, but still. I was looking out and all of a sudden something I'd heard once echoed in my mind. "If a tree falls in the forest, and no one hears it, does it make a sound?" At that moment, I was the tree. I wondered if I fell right then, would anyone know? Course, I'm not a tree, much more important, but what I really wondered about was, would anyone care? It was funny because I think I sat there and cried till morning, then I went to class and about my day like nothing happened, cause that's what I had to do, you know, I even told some funny jokes and made another girl cry, I think it was because she was wearing this horrendous pink feather necklace that her boyfriend gave her. But maybe it was the fact that her boyfriend hadn't fallen in love with a Mudblood that made me yell at her."

Pansy gave another giggle and added on as an afterthought, "Maybe those two are married and are living happily ever after, like that one muggle story I read once … Cinderellis? No…Cinderella!"

She practically turned into a laughing lunatic right before the two boys' eyes. One moment she was standing there wrapped in her own arms, staring out the window and giggling quietly and the next she had crouched down and was laughing hysterically.

"Cinderellis!" that one word kept Pansy in a laughing fit for a good few minutes. And that was a good thing. For Blaise and Draco weren't able to come to terms with the fact that Pansy had once considered kicking her own bucket until a good slice of time had gone by. Blaise felt a blinding rage well up in him and had it not been the fact that Draco had regained his senses and had strode in, yanked the robe Blaise held in his hands, and draped the thing over the shivering, laughing Pansy; Blaise might have sent him to hell.

Instead, he walked up to Draco and grabbed him by the shoulder and made him stand so that they were eye to eye. Then he pulled the blond boy close to him and stared him straight in the eye, wanting to make his next statement as clear as possible. "Get her to bed; leave a hung-over healing potion on her nightstand; forget what she said, then get your ass out of here and back to your life." The other message that he made sure to get across was "Also, **you **should go and jump out a window, bastard."

For once in his life, Draco Malfoy held his tongue and simply looked away from his dark friend's eyes. Even he knew you couldn't act high and arrogant in a situation where your hands were the ones stained with blame.

With that, Blaise stalked out of the room, grabbing the door roughly, with the intention of shutting it so hard that the whole headquarters would collapse, but ended up pausing and gently letting it close with hardly a sound. Draco looked down to the girl that he'd so coldly shunned the past few weeks. He'd been feeling great about their reconciliation earlier that evening, and he'd thought that Pansy was finally starting to look more like her old self, she really was beautiful in that dress tonight, but after the sight of her from earlier he'd felt that wave of guilt come back, ten times strong this time.

Pansy by now was collapsed on the floor, leaning on the foot of her bed, no longer laughing or giggling, simply sitting there and looking out at the wretched window. He took in a shaky breath and crouched down next to her. He wrapped an arm around her small shoulders and pulled her against him. She didn't pull away but stiffened noticeably against his knees.

After a few minutes, her soft voice whispered, "Blaise?" a pale hand shakily rose and lightly shook the arm that was wrapped around her, "I'm, I'm sorry."

Her hand, which had been just lightly shaking his arm started to get more insistent and she began to try to release his grip. Draco had felt something in him harden when she called out Blaise's name, could she not tell the difference between them? And why would _his_ name be the one she was calling out? Draco pushed those thoughts aside but his grip strengthened.

"You're, you're hurting me, stop!" her nails dug into his forearm and her voice suddenly rose and turned shrill. She began to cry out and those cries soon turned into sobs that shook her entire body. Throughout all this Draco sat and tried to hug her to him, to erase the pain, unknowingly making her cry out more, his grip was crushing and in her state of mind she was becoming frightened.

Pounding footsteps outside Pansy's room were what brought Draco back to his senses though. He loosened his tight wrap just as the door swung open and revealed a livid Blaise being held back by Harry. Blaise had been planning to go back outside to get some air to clear his mind but first he decided to return the blue tie Harry had lent him, it was after they'd exchanged a few words when they both picked up on Pansy's scream and cursing, Blaise stormed back towards her room, Harry hot on his heels.

* * *

**Wowzers, Lotsa drama there. I'm having fun with this, I hope you guys are liking it too. Reviews are aprreciated, but only if you want to.**

**Thanks a bunch to everyone.**


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